Hey Youthworker - Be Encouraged

It's a bitter sweet time of year for those of us who work with students.  

There's excitement and anticipation for the fall with all the students who are back in town but also sadness for those who have been with us who are leaving for college or the next phase of their lives.

I wanted to share this with all of you who work with students.  These notes are on our high school Facebook page.  Just take out "IBC" and put the name of your church in it's place.  Students feel this about your ministry even if you aren't hearing it.

"Time has come for me to depart from here. I want to thank every single one of guys for being in my life. This ministry is something special, and i know god is really doing some great things. To the leaders, thank you for everything y'all have done. And to my peers, thank you for being really awesome friends. And to all of y'all, thanks for putting up with me! I love y'all and god bless."

Hey IBC! Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for college and I just wanted to say one last goodbye! I'm headed down to Texas A&M to study Physical Education, and see what God has for me next according to His plan! I love you all so much, and you I am so blessed to have had you in my life. IBC changed my life and brought me so close to our amazing God! I hope and pray that God blesses me with another church community like y'all. I will be praying for all of you, and I can't wait to see where God takes this ministry next! He is so alive in you, and He has even bigger and better things coming! So, goodbye for now! God bless you all! And if any of you are ever near A&M, come visit me! Love you! :)

Hey guys!,
Along with all the other seniors I am heading out tomorrow morning, and I wanna ask you for your prayers. If y'all don't know already I am terrible when it comes to change or saying bye. It has been really hard these past couple days, and I know it will only get harder when I am actually gone. I really need God to give me strength and peace when I leave and move on. I wanna say I have gone to IBC my entire life and there is no church that compares. I have loved this passed year getting to lead y'all the best I could as a Senior, and I know God has HUGE plans with IBC youth ministry. Thanks for being amazing and don't stop living for him everyday! I love each and everyone of you! Anytime you are in San Marcos or the Austin area and don't have a place to crash call me and/or Rachael Tanner up and we will be glad to have you as a visitor, or you know we can go get some froyo or something:) God bless IBC youth ministry! LOVE YALL!♥

Hey everybody. I never dreamed of the day that I wouldn't belong to IBC High School, but unfortunately that day draws near.If you don't already know, I am leaving for the great state of North Carolina tomorrow morning to begin passionately studying and doing what I love which is filmmaking. I get to go off to school to do what I love, how cool is that?
Anyways, I'll keep this short. I want to thank you guys for the gift of friendship you all have given me over the last four years, some of you even longer. The tight-knit community that this family holds together is paralleled by none. You guys are the coolest kids on the block, and I'm glad to watch you guys flourish into what God always intended us to be: in community with one another.

Hello friends, I am heading to Oklahoma tomorrow and will be moving in on Thursday. I'm too wired to sleep and I feel kind of sick to my stomach and would really appreciate prayers for my nerves, emotions, safety, and smooth sailing for the transition as a whole as I go through rush and start classes and all that good stuff. I love you guys and am so blessed to have been a part of such a special group all these years. I will miss you all and can't wait to visit when I'm home! Please keep in touch :)

Be encouraged.  God is using you to make an impact even if you don't hear it very often.  Hang in there!

Gay and Kicked Out

I ran into a college aged friend the other day.

Over the years I discovered she's one of the smartest people I know.  She's thoughtful, honest and passionate.  Every time I'm with her I learn something about God, life and myself.  She also happens to be lesbian.

We hadn't spoken to each other in a long time and in an attempt to casually catch up I simply asked her how her summer was going.  I should have known better.  She's not the kind of person who keeps things "casual".  Of course she got right to the point.  That's one of the many reasons I love her and always enjoy spending time with her.

"Summer has been tough.  I was kicked out of my church because I couldn't say I was a heterosexual woman."  As she told me what had happened there was very little emotion in her voice but I could tell from her eyes she felt incredibly misunderstood, unloved and rejected.

My heart hurt for her.

Ok, I know there are at least 2 sides to every story.  Perhaps someone is totally justified in asking her not to come back to church.  I should give her former church the benefit of a doubt.  But really?  Kicked out of church?

So many thoughts rushed to my mind.

Was this particular church kicking men and woman addicted to porn out of the church?

Are they kicking unrepentant gossips out of the church?

Are they kicking people out of the church who are addicted to their own pride and not willing to deal with it?

Are they kicking people out of the church who are greedy and not generous with their possessions?

Are they kicking people out of the church who are consistently hypocritical?

Perhaps someone patiently and lovingly pointed her to truth.  Maybe there are people walking through life with her and encouraging her.  She could have misunderstood what was said to her.

And so, I come back to the fact that I don't know the whole story but it made me wonder about me and my church.  How are we doing loving people where they are?

The church has been called by God to love every person where they are and patiently help them move towards the heart of God.  The church should be a place where people can come just as they are and freely engage with truth in an environment of love and acceptance.

As I try to believe the best about my friend's church my interaction with her drives me to pray for and hopefully influence my church to love people who enter our doors...just the way they are.  We must be a place where the any person can come to find hope and healing.

Jesus said it best...

And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick."  

That's the way Jesus loves each of us and if there's anyone who needs healing it's me.  I need the great physician.

May our church and churches everywhere learn to accept people where they are.  It's not always nice and antiseptic but it's what Jesus longs for his church to be.

Chime in if you would...

What Should Young Leaders Do?

I need your help.

I have the privilege of speaking on the topic of "leadership and student ministry" with some college students who will most likely be youth pastors.

We'll be covering topics like...
* Leading Your Own Soul
* Leading Parents
* Recruiting, Training and Shepherding Adult Leaders
* Student Leadership - Helping Students Discover, Develop and Utilize Their Giftedness

Part of the day we will discuss general leadership, sharing 5 things all young leaders should do.  My desire would be to challenge and inspire them to think through practical leadership habits most in their early 20's wouldn't think about.  I hope these leadership principles will be radically practical.

This is where you come in, if you're involved in leadership, especially ministry leadership, could you share your top 5?  Perhaps thinking about what you wish you knew about basic leadership when you were younger?  Or, if you work with younger leaders, what do you wish they would know and do?

Here are a couple examples.

Leaders should communicate clearly to a variety of audiences.  Example, when planning a mission trip, what should be communicated to which audiences.

Leaders should follow through.  You have to finish what you start.

Thanks for your help.  You may or may not receive a huge prize if I use one of your leadership principles.  It's cool to tap in to your vast wisdom and experience!

Repulsed and Repulsive

I've been in Honduras since last Saturday and today spent my last day in Comayagua.

I came across a man that was absolutely grotesque.  To be honest it was difficult to even look at him.  He had one arm and half his face seemed to be missing.  His whole body from head to toe was deformed beyond what I’ve ever seen.  He was obviously dirty and very poor which is common for beggars in Comayagua.

I’m not sure what he said but I’m assuming he needed money.  I’m so ashamed of my response.  Instead of loving him and giving him enough for a meal I was repulsed. 

I don’t give to every beggar who asks but typically there’s a reason.  This was different.  I didn’t give to him because I didn’t want to deal with what was standing before me.  It was difficult for me to face him and interact with him on any level.  So I simply said, “I’m sorry” in my broken Spanish and turned away.

After and hour or so I began to feel convicted, not in an unhealthy way but in a gentle loving Holy Spirit kind of way.  It’s as if I knew I missed an opportunity to love and serve the way Jesus would. 

Jesus said if you do it to the least of these you have done it unto me.  If there ever was a "least" this man was it.  I really missed an opportunity to humbly serve Jesus.  For that I am so sorry.

One more thing, I’m so thankful Jesus loved and loves me enough to look at me even with my grotesque sin.  He doesn’t simply say, “I’m sorry” and turn away, he always gives what is needed when we ask no matter how we look or act.

Here’s my prayer, may we be a people who love the unlovely no matter what they have done or what they look like.  And not just in Honduras but where we live most everyday.  May we see the way Jesus sees, serve the way Jesus serves and love the way Jesus loves.  Amen

IBC Beach Camp 2012

It always happens.  Summer comes and goes and you wonder where it went.  I can be guilty of moving so fast I forget to push the pause button and think about all God is doing, that’s certainly the case for our middle school and high school camps.

This year was a little different for me.  I was at the beach camps in a support / oversight role and less of a hands on role.  Being in that role allowed me to see from a different perspective.  


Here are 3 quick (well, maybe not so quick) observations from our middle school and high school camps.

First of all, our student ministry staff is passionate for Jesus and kids.  Trey and Sasha (our middle school and high school pastors) both exhibited a huge heart for students as they led throughout the week.  Their ability to discern how God is moving and lead effectively was amazing.  I can’t say enough about Mary Ann.  She stayed the whole week and served well to make sure everything ran smoothly.  God has blessed IBC with a gifted staff and interns who long to see God change students from the inside out.  Our team isn’t satisfied with behavior modification, they long to see life transformation that only comes through the supernatural work of the gospel.

And wow, our adult volunteers.  From our kitchen crew to our small group leaders, camp doesn’t happen without them.  You have to eat don’t you?  Lisa Elliot, Jill Asibelua and Pat O’Reilly stayed for both camps and served meals the entire time.  What a blessing to have them take care of physical needs so the others could focus on the spiritual.  Leaders like Stephen Dean have been with their group of students since middle school, they have now graduated and he spent this camp continuing to point them to Jesus.  His faithfulness has proven to be so important in their lives.  Godly adult leaders are always key for effective ministry at IBC, this year’s camp was no different.

Finally, we have a unique group of students.  David Mcneely, our high school camp speaker, kept sharing with me and others how unusual (in a positive way) our students are.  As you listen to their stories it becomes obvious that God has and is doing something powerful in them and through them.  Five of our high school students stayed for the  middle school camp to serve as small group leaders.  Watching them serve and pastor those a little younger was a highlight for me.  It’s refreshing not only to see them passionate about Jesus as they worship, but also to step away and see God’s faithful work happen in their lives over time.  He is good.

These few verses seem to sum up much of what I’m feeling and experiencing.  Romans 12 was taught in the main sessions but this Psalm seemed to keep working it’s way into our conversations.

Psalm 145
3 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
5 They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
6 They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

God is using IBC to speak of the greatness of God to the next generation.  The next generation isn’t just next it is current.  As we faithfully invest in their lives they in turn will “speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty”.

For those of you who prayed, thank you so much.  Through praying you were a huge part.  God truly did a unique work and will continue to move.

The Gospel Where People LIve, Work and Play

A friend sent this video to me the other day.  I can't tell you how much the discussion resonates with my heart to equip God's people to live out the gospel where they live, work and play.  

For adults in their work place and for students on their campus, if we can equip and inspire them to simply live their lives the way Jesus teaches it could change the world.

Enjoy.

Student Led - Family

Our Students put this together in one afternoon on our student leadership retreat.  They put together a worship service that centered on the idea of "family".  They led the service on the final morning of the retreat.

I'm kind of proud.



Other students prepared and gave the talk out of Romans 12, some led worship, some did tech and others prayed.  It's amazing what students can and will accomplish when given the opportunity.

2 Thoughtful Articles About Christians and Same Sex Marriage

I’m in many conversations right now about gay marriage.

As one who is passionate about the next generation, I seek to be attentive to issues that involve marriage and family.  Here are a couple of articles that may help frame discussion if people are asking you about it.

http://blogs.christianpost.com/standing-in-truth/does-protesting-gay-marriage-advance-the-gospel-9833/

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/features/29201-a-christian-debate-about-gay-marriage

May we be those who thoughtfully consider how the gospel interacts and transforms the world around us.  It’s a great time for truth, grace and balance.

Quote of the day - Gospel - Humility

Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. It is an end to thoughts such as, ‘I’m in this room with these people, does that make me look good? Do I want to be here?’ True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings.


Timothy Keller

Guiding Principles for Next Gen Ministry

This morning all our next generations staff is pulling together.  This would include all children's ministry staff, student ministry staff, young adult staff and our single parent coordinator.

A far as I an tell this will be the first time all of us have been in a room together.

Here's our plan.  We've been working on a list of guiding principles that will shape what we do and how we do it.  Our hope is that these principles will run like a common thread through all age groups as we hope to launch passionate Godly people into young adulthood.  It's also important to us that families know we're on the same page working towards the same goals.

As you know it's so easy to work separately and barely even know what's going on with other areas of ministry.  We're trying hard to work together, appreciate one another and compliment each other's ministries.

So, here's what we have so far.  These are in wet concrete and my guess is we will add something on outreach / evangelism.

Because every age group benefits from exposure to other generations,

we value thoughtful opportunities for intergenerational connections.

Because true life change happens primarily in the context of relationship,

we value life on life ministry driven by loving connection.

Because Jesus revealed moralism cannot save us,

we value teaching that centers on the transforming gospel of grace.

Because God’s Word is living and active,

we value Biblical Truth that sets us free.

Because growing in Christ results in compassion for others,

we value equipping children, youth and adults to serve our Body and the world.

Because a vibrant relationship with God is more often caught than taught,

we value leadership that models an authentic walk with Jesus.

Because parents have a major role in the discipleship of their kids,

we value partnerships with parents, including parental involvement and equipping.

So, we could use your help.  What would you add?  What would you change?  What seems to be 

unnecessary?

Tapping the Brakes on the "Family Based Ministry" Movement

I believe in family.

There's no doubt churches including children's ministries and student ministries should invest in equipping and shepherding parents. In fact, at my home church, Irving Bible, we just started "Parenting at IBC" with the hope we can serve and equip parents of all aged kids. It's important to me.

The question I would like to ask is this, should the nuclear family be the primary focus of our next generations ministries? If so why?

Yesterday I sat in a family based ministry one day gathering. It was assumed that ministry should be family focused and family centered. It was assumed that all our time, energy and focus should be family based.  So many questions came to my mind.

Today I did some web surfing to see if I could discover how some are defining and describing family based ministry. Here are some statements I read.

"We know from reading the scriptures that families are important to God because our Creator built the first family before he constructed his own church".

Of course families are important to God but really?  Does that mean God values plants and animals before people because he made them first in creation?  Did Jesus actually prioritize the family by saying, "I will build my nuclear family, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it"?

"Although there may be a few youth outings each year where most parents are not present, most youth outings will be the family outings where all of the family is invited"

Maybe that should be flipped.  It's cool and valuable to have parents engaged in outings with their kids, but what about the kids who have parents who aren't ready to step foot in the church?  Awkward.

"Family Based Youth Ministry is grounded upon the Biblical conviction that parents are the primary disciplers of their children"

Why is this assumed? Is this true for every church ministry in America?  There's really a "Biblical conviction" about this?

Sure, family based ministry is effective and needed in some churches but with several books about family based ministry, various conferences and curriculums it simply seems many view this ministry strategy as right for all people and all places.

Why does the ministry pendulum have to be so extreme?  Why is it that children and youth ministries are totally separate from the rest of the church OR we must say that our primary focus is the nuclear family?  Is there a healthy balance in the middle?  

As I'm pulling embryonic thoughts together I would like to share some reasons I think we must tap the brakes on this "family based model" thinking. Instead of assuming family based ministry is right for all situations, here are some thoughts to consider.

1) The Bible doesn't teach that parents are the primary disciplers of their kids.

Of course Godly parents have the greatest opportunity to disciple their children, but do we really have to say the church is secondary?  Perhaps we should think of it as opportunity instead of priority.

There are a couple of passages that seem to be the "go to" in this area.

I've heard it over and over again, Deuteronomy 6 is the Biblical foundation of family based ministry. Here's the problem, Deuteronomy 6 was not written just to the parents, it's written to the covenant people of God. Of course parents were a part of that, but not the only part.  Not to mention that family in that context was very different from what we experience today.

When we read Deuteronomy 6 through our 21st century western eyes and see, "teach it to their children" somehow we forget the first part of the passage. It says "Hear O Israel" not "Hear O Mom and Dad".

And of course there is Ephesians 6:4 which specifically mentions the role of the Father to bring up his children in the training and instruction of the Lord.  It's an important verse for parents to think through and heed, but it in no way says gives the parents the primary voice.

In the early years of a kid's life parents have the strongest voice but to use these verses as proof texts to focus all of next generations ministry on parents is questionable Biblically.

In reality scripture does not give a greater responsibility to the family than the church. As families are a part of the church one could argue the church is the primary discipler of people. The church is called to disciple all that are a part of the church family not just parents.

Do parents need to understand their crucial role in spiritual formation?  Yes, but as a part of the greater covenant family.

In the scripture there's no primary or secondary discipleship, there's just discipleship.  

2) Family based does not fit all ministry contexts.

Family for most of us in upper / middle class white churches experience family as a mom, dad and 2 1/2 kids (I've always felt sorry for the 1/2 kid). That's not what many next gen ministries look like, especially student ministries.

Youth group should be a place where students should be accepted where they are. Hopefully unchurched students from unchurched families are showing up to experience authentic loving community. Hopefully that community includes students and loving ADULTS who love Jesus.

Maybe we have a chance to get to know the parents of unchurched students maybe we don't, but if our ministry is primarily family based and parent focused where do unchurched kids fit in? What about churches where a majority of the students come from unchurched homes?

In the New Testament, "family" rarely refers to the nuclear family, it almost always refers to the spiritual family or the church.  In fact it seems that when Jesus mentions moms and brothers and sisters he seems to say the spiritual connection may be stronger than the physical one.

There are a lot of ministry contexts where it's not practical to spend all our time and energy reaching out to parents.  Yes, make the effort, but if God has placed a group of kids in front of us let's be obedient to his call to disciple the ones right in front of us.

3) Family based ministry seems to neglect evangelism

Maybe I have this wrong, but this ministry strategy seems to emphasize a "circle the wagons" type strategy.  We'll minister to the parents and trust them to disciple their kids.  It feels like an "inside the walls" focus.

Where does the missional component fit into this strategy?  Children and student ministries should always have the component of reaching out to those children and youth who are unchurched and inviting them into the covenant family.

4) Intergenerational ministry NOT family based ministry seems to fit the Biblical model and most cultural contexts

The family of God is a beautiful mixture of ages, maturities and stories. It seems that God's design is for a diverse people to live life together and encourage one another while being on mission.  I love the idea of all kinds of adults speaking into the lives of youth and children, not primarily their parents.

As a father, sometimes I'm the one most equipped to speak truth into the lives of my kids.  As my kids became older other adults were better positioned to share truth.  They quickly became the primary disciplers of my children.

To this day I appreciate the natural partnership the church has had with my family.  Sometimes the best thing I can do is get out of the way and allow the body of Christ to play a major role in discipling my kids.  My relationship with the church has provided a way for my children to hear truth in stereo;  me speaking truth in one ear and other caring adults speaking truth in the other.

In closing let me say that as a father of 4 I've never felt I should totally leave it to the church to disciple my kids, I need to do that. But as a youth pastor I've never felt I should leave it to the parents to disciple kids, as the church, I'm called to do that.

You see, it's a partnership.  It's not about separating kids from adults OR doing everything with and for parents.  Do I long for parents to be equipped and do a better job? Yes.  Am I going to leave it to parents and neglect my role as a pastor in discipling kids, no way.

3 All Time Greatest Clips for Student Talks

Back in the day (20 years ago) it seemed you had to have a video illustration for any youth talk you did.

Oh how times have changed.

Now it seems better to use almost nothing when you speak, however sometimes you find just the perfect clip that drives home an important point.

So, with that in mind I thought we would take a trip down memory lane. Here are what I believe are the 3 greatest clips of all time for youth talks. Yes, these are old school and yes, I'm old. But anyway...

When this movie came out I had young boys who played baseball. I love this movie and particularly this clip. Over the years I've used this to inspire students to pursue others who are different and help them feel welcomed.

Tomorrow morning I'm using it as an illustration of how God longs to use us and says to us, "just put your hand up, I'll do the rest". He does take the ordinary person and makes them extraordinary.

OK, beyond being unbelievably funny this is a great clip. It's a halarious illustration of how a hypocritical person says one thing but believes and feels another. It resonates with students because they all have "friends" (notice the sarcasm) who say one thing and do another.

It shows how ridiculous we as Christians look when we raise our hands and sing passionately but our lives show no reflection of that passion.

Ok, I didn't find the exact clip but this is a powerful movie. It illustrates how most of us live, as if God is not satisfying enough.

Seth, the angel gives up eternity and God so he can have Meg Ryan's character. The movie is the total opposite of "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere".

The best scene is at the end of the movie where Seth says he would rather have one kiss of her lips than eternity without it. He trades God for a girl. In a different way, we trade God for momentary pleasure all the time don't we?

No, I don't feel the pressure to find the perfect clip for a talk anymore, but it's still fun to think it through and very effective when the clip hits the bullseye. Just because the newness of technology has worn off doesn't mean we shouldn't utilize it when it serves the message.

Anyway, that's the best I have (or can remember).

What would be your top 3?

You might be event driven if...

Whether they realize it or not, most student ministries I encounter lean towards being relationship driven or event driven.

 In my opinion the most effective ministries are driven by relationship. A majority (if not all) of student ministry leaders would claim that relationship is their philosophy and drives their ministry.  But the question for each of us is this, does our philosophy match our practice?

By relationship driven I mean staff or ministry leadership spending significant time recruiting, equipping and shepherding other adults and unleashing them to live life to life with students.

 Relational driven ministry is most effective when adults who love Jesus are spending intentional time with students, not simply teaching them information but really involved in their life.

There is tremendous Biblical support for this ministry philosophy. From Jesus to Paul, this is the way they lead and poured into others. This has been my ministry philosophy for 24 years.

The question for myself and others is simple,

do we say we are relationally driven

but execute a different ministry philosophy practically?

Here's the problem.

Many times we don't get "graded" based on how well relationship is growing in our ministry. Often we are seen as successful when there are tons of students in one place at one time and the programming is slick and inviting. Often we are graded on how effective our "talk" is and how students, parents and peers view our ability to communicate.  How we perceive we are graded drives how we spend our time and energy.

Don't get me wrong, if we're doing large group programming it should be done with the highest level of excellence, but many times the tail wags the dog.  Before we know it our desire to have the right event steals time from where we know life change is really going to happen, knee to knee, nose to nose and face to face.

My passion for relationship driven ministry has recently been renewed.

This year I'm leading a group of 9th and 10th grade guys and to be honest time with them seems to have more impact than 5 of my talks combined. We meditate on the Word, talk about how it applies to our life and pray for each other. They ask great questions and I'm blown away by their desire to please the Lord.

For years I have been afraid that I talked about discipling students and pursuing them relationally without really putting my money and time where my mouth is.

So how do we know if we're prioritizing events and neglecting relationship? 

Sometimes it's not that easy to tell if you're event driven. In a desire to help us think through where we are in the event verses relational tension I've come up with a way to process.

You've heard "you might be a redneck if" by our friend Jeff Foxworthy, well, here's a student ministry version to help you think through your own ministry.

You might be event driven if...

you spend a majority or your time with students

I know, you're in student ministry to hang with students right? The simple truth is you don't have the ability to connect with every student in your ministry at a deep level. Believe it or not there may be someone who connects with a student in your group better than you. True relational ministry spends intentional and organic time with adults who are relating to students.

If all your time is spent with students then perhaps YOU are relational, but most likely you're not leading a relationship driven ministry. Take some time to look at your calendar. How much of your schedule is devoted to spending time with your leaders? No matter how large or small your ministry is, trained adult leaders are the key to relational ministry.

You might be event driven if...

you spend more money on pyrotechnics and moving lights than adult leaders

A couple years ago I looked at my budget and saw that a large percentage of my money was going to trips, retreats and events. Very little of it was going to nurturing and training my adults. Of course we need money for trips, they can be the most relational part of our ministry, but if your budget is dominated by special speakers, new lights and tee shirts with little to no money for adult leadership development you might have fallen victim to event driven ministry.

What about setting aside some money for them to take students for coffee? What about some money to take them out to dinner to get to know them better and show appreciation. You could perhaps bring a speaker in to train and inspire your adult leaders. If you're relationship driven put your money where your mouth is.  Spend some of your budget on adults.

You might be event driven if...

50% or more of your week is spent in event planning and implementation

Again, gatherings must be done with excellence, that means careful planning. Your teaching should be Biblical and engaging but balance is the key. If it's taking more than half your time to pull off great programming, maybe you should consider changing how often you offer events.

When pulling off great events robs you of time and energy something has to give. Does the event win or does relationship win?

You might be event driven if...

your small group ministry meets at 8:30am Sunday

When do your small groups gather? Are you giving them prime time and prime attention or are they meeting when no student will show? We need to ask the question, "if we could only do one thing in our ministry, what would that one thing be?". And then, "if we only had one time to do it, when would it be?"

I've talked to youth workers who claim their relationally driven small groups are the most important piece of their programming, yet their small groups don't meet at the best possible time. Prime time is different for different places and ministries, find out what is prime time for you and place your most important piece of programming at that time.

Your might be event driven if...

you just remembered you have a leader's meeting...tomorrow

Ok, we've all been there. Things sneak up on us but what if we spent as much time and energy planning and pulling off leader's meetings as we do student gatherings?

Your leaders need constant connection and training. They don't want another meeting but gathering together is a priority. If and when we pull them together they should never be able to legitimately say the gathering was a waste of time. Think through your gathering times and make sure they're inspiring, shepherding and effective.

So there you have it. May we be leaders who constantly walk up hill in pursuing relationship as the greatest key to ministry effectiveness. Let's do great events but not at the expense of relationship.

What would you add?  Do you feel the "event vs. relationship" tension?

Yes, I'm "Homo-Duplex"

Why do humans always seem to ask the question, "is there more"?

Why do people long to know and be known by others?

I came across this fascinating TED talk discussing why people are communal and seek transcendence.

Haidt refers to humas as "homo-duplex", we live in a physical world and are many times satisfied with fulfilling the mundane desires of life BUT people also have a longing for more, something more transcendent. Over the centuries people have reached this transcendence in a variety of ways including dancing, war, drugs and yes spirituality.

If you don't have time to watch the entire talk there is a 3 minute "video in a nutshell" at the end of the talk which does a wonderful job abbreviating.

I love this talk but see things differently. Obviously I lack the education and brilliance of Haidt, but as I look at this through the lens of my theological construct there are a couple of truths that jump out.

1. Every human is created in the image of God

Because of this simple truth people long for that which God longs, even if we don't know it. We long for a just world, love and togetherness.

God is community. We see this clearly in the cosmic dance of the trinity. Father, Son and Holy Spirit united in community from eternity past. Every person who has ever lived longs for and needs communal connection; knowing and being known.

2. Eternity is written on hearts

"He has put eternity into man's heart" - Ecclesiastes tells us that God has hot wired us to long for things greater than ourselves. Haidt speaks of a staircase that takes us to a higher consciousness or calling.

Of course we're "homo-duplex". God has made us with a longing for things that are transcendent.

I struggle through this every day in my own walk. Will I live to place my roots on this earth or will I believe that I'm living for something far more grand, the Glory of God? "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love".

Haidt is so right about a couple points, humans long to climb the "staircase" and people long for togetherness. He states fact but is missing the answer to the question "what's the point"?

As I watched this I was reminded that people are seeking. They're looking for answers to the deep questions they're asking.

May we, the church, be a people who live out the gospel in authenticity, wisdom and boldness. Yes, the gospel is still the answer to life's most basic questions.

My Friend Julie

Julie Pierce is one of the sharpest leaders I know.

When I first came to IBC she was my boss and led me through a difficult time of transition. As you know, transition is never easy and it can be incredibly difficult. Her leadership made it as smooth as possible and launched me into effective service.

She is passionate, wise and courageous. I have the privilege of working with her daily and am amazed by her heart for the Lord, her family and her church.

If you have a moment, check out her website and blog. She has a particular heart to equip women to lead and serve AND she's great at what she does.

http://empoweredbypierce.com/