KIds - Show Up! Sit Down! Shut Up!

In the modern American church kids are often told to "show up, sit down and shut up".

That's harsh and outrageous!  Or is it?

Well, of course those words would never be said out loud or posted on a sign in the student ministry area. But let's face it, that attitude is projected by the way churches form their sermons, sing songs, do announcements, and create budgets. Much of what happens in church screams to kids "this isn't for you!"

Best Network Meeting In Years

It's not rocket science...

Yesterday 10 youthworkers from our community connected to pray.  Catholic, Baptist, non- denominational and para-church, we were all in the room together.

As an added bonus one of our local high school principles joined us at the beginning of the time to share some info about his particular school.  Of course we were able to pray God's blessing on him.

We read Psalms of praise...
We shared personal needs and prayed for one another...
We prayed for kids and parents in our area...

And WE did it TOGETHER...

I'm so thankful for each who was in the room.

Take the time, energy and risk to connect with other youthworkers in your area.  It will make a difference.

"that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me."

                                                                                    Jesus

Short Term Mission Trip - A Horrible Thing to Waste

Do you take students on short-term mission trips?  

If you do, you know the incredible work that happens in the hearts of students and also in the hearts of those receiving ministry.  Kids can make a huge impact across the street and around the world.

I just got home from an international mission trip with our students so this is very fresh.  Here are some important questions I'm trying to answer in my own heart...

How do we maximize and inject discipleship into our short term mission strategy?

How do our trips fit into the rest of our ministry strategy?

How do we help students see and trust Jesus more through our short trips?

How do we use our mission trips to teach kids theology?

A short-term mission trip is a horrible thing to waste.

Some quick and very random thoughts...

Should You Tell The Parents?

I had a discussion with a volunteer small group leader that I have often in student ministry.  It went something like this.

"Susie (generic girl name) says she no longer believes in God, should I talk to her parents?"

Other questions that come up are, "he tried cigarettes, should I tell his parents?" or "she's dating THAT guy, should I talk to her parents?" or "he said a bad word..."

You get the idea.  

As we seek to disciple students and partner with parents when do we bring parents into these kinds of conversations?  Our small groups are governed by principles of confidentiality but as you know that doesn't mean you never share what's going on in a kids life.

So, here's the question...

When do you bring parents into the loop as it relates to "confidential" conversations with kids?

I have some ideas but wanted to hear what ya'll (I'm in Texas) have to say first.

Let's learn from one another...

Is Your Summer Camp Cheesy?

I’ve had the privilege of doing a lot of Summer Camp this year and currently I'm in Gulf Shores at my church's high school camp.

To be really honest with you, I think camp is kind of cheesy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love camp and believe God uses those experiences all over the country to move students towards his heart and I actually enjoy the cheesiness. As I’m staring down the barrel of our camp this weekend here are some things I’m thinking about to embrace the cheese but more importantly position our students where they’ll rub up against Jesus.

Camp should reflect your overall student ministry strategy

In other words, if you’re a ministry driven by adult leaders and small groups, your camp should have those opportunities. If your ministry is highly missional in nature, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to provide some missional experience at camp or at least expose students to injustices in the world. If your ministry is all about production then do that to the max. In fact, it might be better to go to Big Stuff or something that does production at the highest level.

The point is this, your camp should reflect what your priorities are in your ministry. Summer camp isn’t a stand-alone event, it’s connected to the rest of your ministry.

Work hard at having fun

To be honest this is a tough one for me. Fun is a high priority for my ministry, it just can’t be dependent on me to pull it off. This weekend one of our key leaders is the mc. She is absolutely hilarious and extremely fun. If you’re a fuddy dudd like me find someone who is fun and put them in charge.

Camp isn't a destination, it’s a doorway

You know this already, the challenge with camp is helping students process and live out what God does at camp when they get home. What about taking the entire last session or 2 to help students process and imagine what God is going to do when they get home? Many times camp builds towards that “last night” experience. Why not have that experience earlier in the week to help students unpack what God is teaching them and helping them prepare to go home?

If our camp is just about camp and not life change where students live work and play we have missed an incredible opportunity. 

Focus on the gospel not the experience

Students (and adults) can easily be lured into worshipping an experience instead of God. The story of what Jesus has done on our behalf must be the centerpiece of every camp no matter what the theme. 

Jesus doesn’t only live at your camp location. If students come home embracing the gospel and all that means in their life then their walk with him will have been truly deepened.

So, embrace the cheese and enjoy how God seems to work in a special way at our summer camps. By the way, I met Jesus at our church’s summer camp in Jekyll Island, Georgia. It will be cool to hear stories over the years of how God has worked at your camp this summer.

3 Quick Camp Thoughts - Sweat the Details AND Get Out of the Weeds

We're right in the middle of final preparations for Beach Camp 2013.

When you're responsible to get over 200 people 12 hours away there are tons of administrative details.

Busses, vans, food, production, adult leaders, communicating to parents, rules, speakers, bands, budgets, schedules, booklets, rooming assignments...

As you know this list is just the beginning.

To pull off an effective camp you have to take care of the details.  Let's be honest, youth pastors / workers are not usually known for their administrative effectiveness.  It's very important we make sure all the details are accomplished.  Let me say it again, SWEAT THE DETAILS.

However, I've found that as we get closer to camp it's easy to get stuck in the weeds.  Here's what I mean.  Sometimes you get so overwhelmed with the details you just focus on the WHAT for the trip, not the WHY.

What about some balance?  

Here are some thoughts our team has been considering as we try to balance the vision of camp with the details of camp.

Camp is about God changing individual lives...

As we've looked over the lists of kids who have signed up we are constantly brainstorming who isn't on the list and why.  We even grab last years sign up list to compare.  If we haven't heard from a kid in a while it gives a great excuse to reach out and invite them to attend.  The response has been incredible.

At the end of the day it isn't about the total number of kids at camp but each individual student and the potential of God's gospel work in their lives.  We want them at camp because we believe there's something significant about taking a few days away to connect with God and one another.

Camp is about adult / student relationships...

The student ministry philosophy where I serve is built on Godly adult leaders investing in the lives of kids.  Our camp reflects this philosophy.  As important as getting kids there getting the right adults is crucial.  

We've also found that having key leaders at camp gives them great momentum in going into their fall small group ministry.  Is there a better place to deepen relationships than camp?

Camp is about God...

These few days in Gulf Shores are a part of the tremendous story God is telling.  As our camp story reflects and contributes to God's story he is the one who receives the glory He is due.  It's not about a person, church or even an experience.  It's truly about God doing his transformative work in and through us.

It's important to get our heads above the clouds to remember what happens at camp echoes in eternity.

So, we need to make sure we take care of all the details.  Communicate well and take time to work on administration but don't forget the why of camp.  

Remind yourself and others about the tremendous potential that's sitting right before you.  Don't miss the forest because of all the trees.

Should I Wear A Speedo? - Beach Camp Modesty

Recently there's been a lot of conversation around the web concerning swimwear, particularly girl's swimwear.

Here's what people are asking...

What is modesty?
Is a girl responsible for a guy lusting?
What about girls lusting?
Who gets to decide what is modest dress and what isn't?
Should I wear a speedo?

The purpose of this post isn't to argue the specifics of Biblical modesty or make a judgement about swimwear, it's simply to share where our student ministry team has landed on our bathing suit policy.

There's no doubt scripture teaches us we should present ourselves in a way that's modest.  We should praise those who want to be modest and encourage those who aren't but how does modesty relate to what we wear and who gets to decide?

For example, a couple weeks ago I was in Amish country in Pennsylvania.  Their view would be way different from Christians who grew up in south Florida.  How do we find a balance that honors God?

Youth groups all over the country head to the coast for summer camp and have to make decisions about their bathing suite rules. So as youthworkers how do we make decisions that are founded on grace and truth?  How we address the bathing suite issue is important because it teaches our guys and girls about Biblical modesty which goes much deeper than the question of a one piece or two piece at camp.

At my home church we're about to send out the packing list for our beach camp.  This is where we've landed for this year's camp and yes, it could change next year.

A word about your bathing suit…

Ok, it’s time to pack for camp!

As you’re thinking about your 2013 beach wear options I want to share some thoughts.

Modesty is a very subjective thing.  You could ask 10 different people if an outfit or bathing suite is modest and you may get 10 different responses.

We ask you to do your best choosing bathing suite options that are modest.  For example, girls, please no string bikinis and please make sure you have straps on top.  Guys, please make sure your trunks don’t sag and no Speedos.  :)

It may be a good idea to wear your swimsuits in front of your moms and dads for their opinion.

At the end of the day if our staff feels your swimsuit (guys or girls) is not appropriate for beach camp we’ll ask you to change or wear a shirt.

And remember; if you’re not laying out or swimming please wear a cover up.

This isn’t about a one piece or two piece (I’ve seen one pieces far more revealing than two pieces) but about a desire for each of you to present yourselves appropriate to one another.

Thank you so much for hearing our heart on this!  We’re looking forward to an incredible time.

Yes, it would probably be easier to say "no two pieces" or to simply stay away from swimwear all together (go to the mountains).  We decided to embrace the messiness and have conversations with kids if the need arises.  If someone wears a swimsuit (or anything else for that matter) that is inappropriate we want to talk to them about WHAT they're wearing but also WHY they're wearing it.  The WHY questions is what gets to the heart of Biblical modesty.

By the way, this isn't a condemnation on those who have stricter rules, we could be wrong about this.  In fact, I would love to hear push back and advice.  

What do you think about our swimwear "policy"?  How is yours different?

We're all ears.

Oh, and just to ease your mind, I'm leaving my speedo at home this summer.  Next year?  We'll see.


To learn more about what's being said about modesty check out these websites.

The Evolution of the Swimsuit

Modesty - It's Not What You Think

Is Itsy-Bitsy Wrong?

4 Reasons this Dad / Pastor is Thankful for our Student Ministry

 

Over the past few days I've been overwhelmed by the influence student ministry has had on my family.  It's good to stop and reflect.

It's been quite a week.  My 2 oldest sons drove from Georgia to be with the family for my daughter's high school graduation.  Andrew, Austin, Zach and Lauren were all in Dallas as were my in-laws and parents.  What an amazing time.

As a youth pastor my goal has never been to develop relationship with every kid in the youth group, that would be impossible and ineffective.  My deep desire has been to insure every kid has opportunity for meaningful relationship with adults who love Jesus and love them.  

As a father I'm thankful this is the heart of our student ministry.

You see, over the last days I've been reminded of the Godly adults who have shared life with my daughter.  Of course her brothers and grandparents have been there, but then there's Shelly, Brian, Lori, Scott, Alisha, Nat, Dana, Sasha, Mary Ann, Chris, Chelsea, Sylvia, Bryan, Allison, Steve, Jackie, Andrea, Mark, Jade, Javi, Jenn, Susan, Carrie and so many more.  

Some of these relationships have come organically through my friendships but others have come through our student ministry's intentional desire to connect Godly adults with kids.  It seems this is the way the body of Christ is supposed to function.

As I've been reflecting here are areas I'm particularly thankful for...

A safe place for Godly council - 

As a dad I don't know everything nor do I need to know everything going on in the life of my daughter.  I'm so thankful for a safe place for Lauren to share her struggles with Godly adults who love her.  Within these relationships she can doubt, cry, complain and struggle.  I TRUST THEM to provide great Godly wisdom.

A voice of reinforcement -

Obviously I'm not privy to conversations with my daughter and her adult leaders, however, I do know them well enough to know they point her to Biblical truth and wisdom.  You know how it is, as a parent your kids think you no nothing, but when someone else speaks truth it all of a sudden makes sense.  We've needed that over the years.

A foundation of prayer - 

I pray for my kids with frequency and fervency but what an incredible blessing to know other adults who are doing the same.  God has answered those prayers and it makes a difference.

Consistent accountability - 

All of us need to be pursued when we lose our way.  I'm in accountability and need my fanny kicked every once in a while.  (ok, maybe often)  It's so comforting to know you're not the only adult saying hard things to your kids.  God has used these conversations to protect my daughter.

Lauren has had and continues to have a constellation of adults speak into her life.  Some of those adults have influenced a little from a distance and others are close with deep ongoing relationship.  Whether a little or a lot, I'm so thankful for each of those encouraging voices.

If you're a parent, help your kids develop deep relationship with other Godly adults.  Take full advantage of your student ministry's small groups.  Trust that God is in the middle of those relationships.

If you're a youth pastor, work to make sure every student has opportunity for connection with trained / Godly adult leaders.  You can't and shouldn't try to disciple every student in your youth group.  But you should seek to see every student discipled.

If you're a youth pastor and a parent?  Rejoice in the truth that God has designed the Body to function this way.  It truly does take a village.

Students and Fixed Hour Prayer

For over 25 years I've dreamed of ways to help kids connect to God in the Word and prayer.  Although I know people connect with God in different ways I'm not sure students can grow or be spiritually healthy without some sort of spiritual rhythm which includes Bible meditation and prayer.  By the way, this isn't just true for kids, it's true for all of us.

When you speak with kids you hear all kinds of good reasons for not spending focused time with God.  

*  It's boring

*  I don't understand the Bible

*  Nothing really happens

*  I'm way too busy

*  I'm too tired

*  I don't know where to start

*  I can't focus

To be honest, all those reasons make sense but I'm not giving up.  Part of the problem has been we've done a poor job giving kids tools that will help them develop a plan to spend time with God.  This summer we're going to try something a little different and radical for our ministry context.  

For all our kids and especially those who are leading or serving this summer, we're going to challenge them to not only spend time with God once a day but 4 times a day.  Crazy isn't it?

As a "non-liturgical" I'm coming to the party way late but here's what I'm learning.  The concept of "fixed hour prayer" dates back before the early church and has morphed over the centuries.  Many from liturgical traditions practice scheduled prayer and meditation today know as "the daily office", "divine hours" or "fixed-hour prayer".

For a brief but fascinating history check out this article by Phyllis Tickle.

A brief history of fixed-hour prayer

We're using the devotions based on the daily office from the "Book of Common Prayer".  It's pretty simply.  You spend an extended time in the morning in Bible meditation and prayer and shorter periods of time around noon, early evening and right before you go to bed.  These times of prayer and meditation can be done as an individual or as a group.

I came across this great website which students can access on their phone or computer.  (A special thinks to the Church of the Savior in Allen, Texas)

The Daily Office Express

Here's the plan for the summer.

A Short Introduction and Training

In a couple of weeks we're going to meet with our students who are involved in serving and leading.  As we introduce the idea and challenge them to jump in it's going to be important to focus on the heart.  Fixed hour prayer could quickly become a legalistic obligation if we're not careful.  It's always a challenge to keep spiritual rhythms fresh.

Daily Reminders From Your Cell Phone

We're going to ask them  set their phones to go off 4 times a day as a reminder.  Ok, I have no expectation that each student will do this perfectly.  In fact we're going to challenge them to walk in grace through this whole process.  But what if each student spends a little more time in the presence of God?  Even if they can't stop where they are and pray the office it still reminds them that God is present when the alarm goes off.  That's a good thing.

Implemented on Mission Trips and Camp

The daily office will drive our solo time for students and also small group time.  We're thinking creatively on how we can infuse fixed hour prayer into our trips where we have a little more influence on the schedule of students.  Again, the goal is that students would experience God's presence more consistently. 

I'm super excited about how God may use this in my life and the life of our kids.  My hope is that God will use this to connect them with himself, those close to them but also with the church around the world who consistently brings these prayer before the throne.

The Daily Offices are dedicated... to the informing concept of a cascade of prayer being lifted ceaselessly by Christians around the world; to the recognition for every observant of an exultant membership with other observants in a communion of saints across both time and space...

Phyllis Tickle

Am I crazy?

Can you hear me?

A group of middle school and high school students were recently asked a simple question.  Their answers were totally anonymous.

"What would you tell your parent / parents if they would simply LISTEN without any repercussion?"

Here's a sample of what they said:

Stop treating me like a child

Please stop looking at my text, they are personal to me!

I have a Facebook account and I still kept my Instagram account as well-without your permission.

Trust my judgment instead of looking through my phone.

I love you.

I love you not matter what I say or do, I always will.

Stop yelling

Please take my ideas and thoughts into consideration.  Consider my point of view more.

I wouldn’t really want to tell them anything important, because there really isn’t anything important to tell them.  I mostly like to keep my feelings to myself.

How hard it is to deal with life and trying to stay away from the guys I love.

I have thoughts about dying because of them. 

I have been thinking about moving to a group home.  I feel like it would be a good option.

I would tell them about my heart for missions and telling other people about God because God has been working with me about that.

I feel pressured by the family.  I was embarrassed as a child of certain things because of you all.

I would tell them to actually spend time with me and not ignore me because it hurts when they ignore me.

I would tell my parents to listen to me more, and not to yell at me.  Those kinda go together.

I would tell them that I don’t like when they blame each other for things that…

Listen to me and not yell at me.

About all my troubles and fears.

They need to understand more than yell at me about my grades.

Tell me truth.  Don’t hide things from me in order to protect me.

I try my hardest.

Believe in me.  Don’t doubt me.

I would tell them to please listen better sometimes.

Listen without arguing.

Give more privacy.

Stop controlling me.

Have strength.  I love you.

Stop being so critical when it comes to grades.

Give me more money.

Love you mom.

Understand me.

Why do you say you love me when you punish me?

You make me do so much!!!

Stop controlling.

I love you.  Thank you.

Get back together.

My life, not yours.

I watched porn.

Stop saying yes when you want to say no.

Please stop reading my texts.  They are privacy!  I do nothing bad and you know that.

I’m struggling in school and I try my hardest to pass.

I don’t like eating sometimes, but I don’t think I’m fat.

I’m bi-sexual.

Mom and Dad, I love you!

Mom-stop drinking and being mean.

Pay more attention to me.

Mom-stop being mean to me and yelling.

Stop screaming at me.

You shouldn’t be so overprotective.  I’m sorry for not doing what you say.

Over protective.

Stop yelling.

You should listen to my siblings and me.

Just listen.

Listen to me.

Stop judging

Thank you for being amazing and love me so well.

Don’t be so strict, it only makes me want to do bad things.  Strict parents create sneaky children.

I’m scared you are fan of Jesus with good morals and not actually a Christ follower.  You have never shown me what it means by the way you live your life.

I’m worried that if you knew everything about me, you’d hate me.

Mom, I am tired of you always getting on to me about little things.  I am not perfect nor are you, although that is what it seems like you think.

I would like to be left alone when I get angry or when you see me becoming angry.

You don’t have to yell.

I’m embarrassed to share my personal feelings with you because you aren’t understanding.

I am not comfortable sharing personal things with you, not because I don’t think you can help, but because I am embarrassed to.

Thank you for all you do.  I love you so much.  Thanks for always being here.

Thank you for everything.  I love you.  I know I don’t respect you enough.  

As a father, youth worker and person who advocates for the next generation this list was a lot for me to take.  Sure there were some positive comments, but for the most part kids don't feel heard and many of them are hiding their feelings and actions.  It's never good for kids to have secrets they are unwilling to share with a caring adult.

Will anyone listen?

Kids won't share if they don't trust.  They won't trust if there isn't relationship.  So whether you're a youth worker, parent or both, nurturing relationship with an emphasis on listening must be the highest priority.  

The hope is that we or other adults get to apply the power and beauty of the gospel to specific areas of their life.  Let's do the hard work of building relationship.

What do you think?

5 Ideas For Recruiting Your Best Team Ever (Well, Maybe)

Recruiting - For many youth workers it's a word we love to hate.

One of the most difficult but rewarding parts of leading a relational ministry is seeking and inviting other adults to serve.  It's super exciting to see equipped leaders operating in their giftedness.

In my experience April - June has been an important time for recruiting new leaders and retaining existing leaders.  It's important to complete recruiting before the craziness of summer hits.  If your volunteer team is nailed down by the middle of June it gives you the freedom to enjoy the summer without being too stressed out about small groups leaders in September.

Historically this has been one of the most difficult parts of my ministry.  I've experienced heavy stress, fear and frustration.  Let's face it, finding the right people to serve students is hard work.  
  
As you enter this season of recruiting here are a few ideas that may help ease the work load...

1.  Create a punch list

First things first.  Before you can seek leaders to fill roles you need to know what roles need to be filled.  This begins with meeting with current leaders and discovering their intent for the fall.

After you figure out who's sticking with you create a list where you can clearly see the gaps that must be filled.  As you create your list go ahead a dream about your leadership team.  Maybe this is the year you have 2 leaders per small group.  Is this the year you develop student leadership?  Don't forget to plan for potential growth.  

Whatever the case, make sure you have a clear understanding of the needs and dreams.

2.  Pray like crazy

Ok, I  don't mean to be overly spiritual here, but finding the right people to be in the right positions is a God sized task.  We must ask Him to lead us to the right people.  We need Him to prepare their hearts for the discussion.

Creating a environment of God dependent prayer is essential in finding the right people to serve students.  And by the way, when God answers prayer we get the benefit and He receives the glory.

3.  Ask your current leaders

Your best source for finding new volunteers is your current leaders.  Assuming they've bought into the ministry vision they can be your biggest cheerleaders and informed recruiters.  Each leader should be able to give you at least one person you could pursue.

4.  Cast a broad net

An up front announcement to the entire church or an article in the church newsletter is a good idea.  This won't be your most effective method of obtaining great leaders but you may pick up a name or so.  

Communicating church wide is also a way for you to tell the story of your ministry and the priority on life on life relationship. It's good for the whole church to know the power and potential of your ministry.

5.  Recruit like you lead

Relationally...  

Get to know the heart of potential leaders.  
Buy their lunch or coffee.  
Ask them to tell you their story.  
Find out about their family.  
What do they do for fun?
Find out who discipled them.
Discover who they are personally.  

You may find they are better equipped or passionate for other areas of ministry in your church.  If so connect them with the appropriate ministry.  You are not simply trying to fill a spot, you're helping them discover how God could use them.

At your first meeting don't let them give you a commitment about serving in your ministry.  Share vision and clear information about the expectations and time commitment.  Leave them with something to read and a ministry application.  Then ask them to pray for a week.

After a week or so give them a call and see if they have any more questions and find out if they're ready to pull the trigger.  After they say yes invite them to your fall training event or retreat.  

Remember your relationship with them is just beginning.  As you pursue, pray and care for them it will model how you want them to pursue, pray and care for students.

Having equipped adults who love Jesus and love kids has been a priority for my ministry for years.  Recruiting and sustaining the right team is one of the most difficult pieces of relational ministry but also the most rewarding.  

So, get started!  Summer (then September) will be here before you know it.

When Students Take Over - An Example

What does it look like when students begin to feel genuine ownership in student ministry?  Yesterday I was looking at our high school ministry's facebook page and came across this unsolicited post from one of our seniors.  

It made me smile.  Enjoy.


Just something I'd like to share

Looking through old pictures getting ready for beach camp this year. And I came across this one. It reminded me so much of what had happened on the pool side during our pool talks. 

We would share stories, something we learned, or maybe something we were struggling with. And during this time I was shown just exactly how many people had a poor relationship with their dads. I was blown away. I couldn't relate. My dad has always been around and never hurt me. But there were so many people that could. Everyone acted like the family we claim to be! On top of that I thought about how awesome it was that although some of our earthy dads suck. Our Heavenly Father is amazing! His love for us is so great and powerful! And we get to worship him all week, we get to spend time with him everyday! And I cannot wait for this opportunity to hear stories of people who found their joy in god during beach camp this upcoming summer! 

When students take over you don't have to promote your events as much, they'll do it for you!  And by the way, they'll also write your blog for you.

Student Leadership - They Can't See It

Yesterday I had the privilege of sitting with some youthworkers at YS Unconference Kansas City to discuss student ministry.  One of the discussions I attended was on student leadership which created some fascinating dialogue.

I'm passionate about student leadership and have been working for years to help students discover, develop and utilize their giftedness.  In our ministry context we're only scratching the surface on doing this well so I'm  thankful for the other youthworkers in the circle who encouraged and taught me.

Sitting in the circle I was reminded of something so crucial in helping students in the discovery process.

They Can't See It

They can't see the fact that they're growing in their faith.
They can't see that God has uniquely wired and gifted them for service.
They can't see that their friends watch them and seek them out for help.
They can't see the impact it makes when they engage the student sitting alone.
They can't see that when they pray God moves.
They can't see the potential they have for the Kingdom.
They can't see that how they serve behind the scenes brings God glory.

Simply put, unless we tell tell them where we see God working in them and the potential they have for the Kingdom they will never know.  We must help them see what they can't see themselves.

When is the last time you caught a student doing some great and complimented them?  When was the last time you sat with a student just to cast vision for "what if"? 

If we don't help them see it, who will?

Kids In Pain - Perspective For Parents

Yesterday our student ministry led our students, adult leaders and parents in a discussion on the pain students experience.  

We have discovered that self mutilation (cutting) is common amongst our middle school and high school students who are hurting.

Trey Grant, our middle school pastor did a outstanding job seeing the need and bringing faith centered awareness and equipping to our people.

One of our parents was particularly touched by her own struggle with parenting and posted an outstanding blog this morning.

If you're a parent I encourage you to read it.

If you're a youth worker I encourage you to pass it on to your parents.

Parenting by Fear or by Faith

May we be people (parents, youthworkers, grandparents, leaders) who see the next generation as Jesus does, with great compassion.

2 Reasons I Love JFYM

I was a just a baby.

The first time I interviewed for a student ministry position I was asked about my "ministry philosophy".     To be honest I had no idea what to say.  It came out as "love Jesus and love kids".  Not a horrible answer but incomplete if you're going to have a student ministry with more than 6 students.

Believe it or not I got the job.  

A couple of years later my ministry philosophy was shaped and sharpened by a simple strategy called "Jesus Focused Youth Ministry".  JFYM isn't a program or event, but an overall student ministry strategy based on the ministry of Jesus.

Since the early 90's every student ministry I have led has in some way been shaped by this strategy.  

There's much I love about JFYM but here are two highlights...

It starts with the leader's connection with Jesus

The first time I heard Barry St. Clair talk about the importance of the leader connecting with Jesus through prayer and repentance it wrecked me.  As a young youth pastor I knew how important this was but to make my connection with Jesus an integral part of my student ministry strategy made total sense.  God used this time not only to grow me up as a pastor, but also as a dad, husband and man. 

It focuses on multiplication

I desperately needed to be challenged that one person couldn't single handedly reach and deepen every student.  That's not the way Jesus did ministry.  Hearing that God could and would use other leaders set me free to seek out and equip other ADULTS.  It wasn't about going from event to event but about investing in those who would invest in others.

With this change of approach my student ministry began to grow.  It grew in breadth and depth.

If you're looking to get off the treadmill of event driven ministry and develop a strategy that invests deeply in adult leaders and students check out JFYM.  It will make a difference in your ministry and for the Kingdom.

Reach Out Youth Solutions

If you have any questions let me know.  

Holy Week and Student Ministry

As youth workers we have a deep hope that students will still be following, loving and serving Jesus long after they leave high school.

A big part of them continuing their faith into adulthood is including them in intergenerational opportunities in our children's and student ministries.  High school students attending and participating in intergenerational worship is particularly important for their faith in the future.

Here's a question... 

How are you promoting your church's Holy Week gatherings to your students?  

Are your students in any way involved in the leadership of those gatherings?

Sometimes we push our student ministry activities but forget about the intergenerational gatherings that may impact them the most.  With all the beauty, depth and symbolism that is naturally included in Maundy Thursday services and Good Friday gatherings there's no doubt students could be deeply impacted.  

It's not too late to encourage them to participate.

Are you doing anything to encourage their participation?

Does your worship team / pastor recognize there will be kids in the room?

What about creative ideas to encourage their involvement?

Surveys for Student Ministry Assessment

If you work with students you know what it's like.  You're planning, preparing, hanging out with that hurting student or sitting in some kind of staff meeting (we all love those staff meetings).

Sometimes we run so fast we really have no idea how people are being served overall.

In my home church student ministry we're in a serious posture of listening and learning.  To learn more about the why and what of our assessment process you can read last Wednesday's student ministry post.

What's Really Going On In Your Ministry - Stop, Look and Listen

Part of our assessment process is sending and analyzing surveys.  Last week a few of you asked if I could share some samples of those surveys.

I was hesitant BUT what the heck.

As you look through the surveys please remember a couple of things...

1.  We're not experts at creating and analyzing surveys.

To be honest we have no idea what we're doing.  

Did you know there is actually a science to doing this kind of thing?  If you can find someone to help you think through how to ask the questions to get the information you need please take full advantage of that person's expertise.

Here are the broad questions we're trying to find answers too.

• Are people in our ministry being cared for generally?
• Do leaders and students feel connected?
• How are people feeling overall about the student ministry?
• Are we effective in communicating?

There is other information we wanted but these were the major themes.

2.  Obviously, these questions are for our ministry context.

They're very specific to IBC and the people we serve.

So, here are some samples to consider.  Take the ideas and use what you can to listen and learn from your ministry context.

Survey for volunteer leaders

Parent Survey

Student Survey

As you move ahead here are some warnings.  

If you send and receive surveys make sure you have thick skin and receive the information in a way that brings life and growth to your ministry.  Sometimes the truth can hurt but if that truth results in serving kids and families more effectively it's worth it.

Warning number 2 - Student ministry isn't a democratic process.  The purpose of our surveys isn't to let people vote on their preferences, it's to discover how we can more effectively build a relational ministry that results in the life change of students, families and our volunteer leaders.

Whatever you do don't get defensive and try to figure out who said what.  A defensive non-teachable posture will result in the opposite of what you're hoping to accomplish.

So there you go, let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

What's Really Going On In Your Ministry? - Stop, Look and Listen

Over the next 3 weeks we're in a time of heavy assessment of our student ministry.

Every once in a while it's important to push the pause button and take an honest look at what's going on.

Do you really know what's going on in your ministry?  

Do your adult leaders feel served or are they burned out?

Are your parents receiving the information they need to feel their kids are safe?

Is all the time and effort you're putting into planning and prepping effective in helping your students grow spiritually?

Listen, what you don't know doesn't help you.  Sometimes we're like the child who plays hide and seek not by hiding but by covering their eyes.  They're not really hiding, the're just simply not looking.

It's possible to lead ministry, invest in a few kids, experience a couple of great "God stories" and still have a ministry that's suffering from poor morale and lack of effectiveness.

How could we not know?

Well, we don't ask.  Sometimes we simply don't take the time to raise our heads above the clouds and look around.  And let's be honest, sometimes it's easier not to know.

Every effective youth worker I know stepped into youth ministry to see kids come to Christ, grow in Christ and change the world for Christ. (or something like that)  That's the grand goal.  It's so easy to be busy running a ministry without stopping to ask the question, "is there fruit"?

The assessment period

Spring is a great time to take the temperature of your ministry.  As you listen and learn you have time to implement change before next fall.  Here are a couple things we're doing in our ministry context.

Surveys

Over the next week we're creating and sending out 5 surveys.  I've found survey monkey is easy and cheap.  We're sending them to...

Small group leaders
High School students
Parents of high schoolers
Middle School students
Parents of middle schoolers

Surveys are not the end all but they do give valuable information.  For example, what night are high school students most available?  We all have the programming piece we believe requires prime time.  Are your high school students more available on Wednesday night or Sunday night?  Have you asked them?

Do your parents feel your partnering with them or competing with them?  Have you asked them?

Again, what you don't know doesn't help you.  By carefully asking questions you discover reality but also learn of perception and how people feel.

And by the way, it's almost always a good thing for the people we serve to feel heard.  By asking for their opinion you're showing them you care about them.

Conversations

During this period we're also having conversations with key leaders.  Key leaders include volunteers, students and parents.  This should be happening all the time but sometimes it's good to have an excuse and say to someone, "we're in a listen and learn season right now".  Having a set season where your giving special attention to listening and learning is important.

It's amazing what people will tell you when you ask them.

Eyes On

We're asking people who don't typically attend ministry programming to show up and watch.  We simply want to know what they see and experience.

I can hear it now, "no one knows my ministry better than me".  Well, maybe.  If you're at your programming all the time you have the curse of knowledge.  Often you're too close to the situation to see what you really need to see.

Take the risk of allowing extra eyes and ears.  You may learn something.

Data

I generally pay very little attention to attendance numbers, but during a season of assessment it may important to take a look.  Knowing how many doesn't tell you everything but it can tell you some things.  If the information is available now is the time to take a look to see what you learn.

For example, if you're ministry is driven by small group relationships it would be important to know kids are in small groups.  If 3000 are coming to your middle school worship event but 23 are in small groups there's a problem.  If you value high school students attending the main worship service wouldn't want to know if only 25% were consistently attending?

Compile

Finally, at the end of 2 or 3 weeks we'll sit down with all we learn.  It could be we discover we are the perfect student ministry and there is no need to change anything.  (ha)  Or it could be we simply need to adjust how we communicate.

My guess is that we'll find some areas in need of attention.

Final Cautions

Make sure you and your team have a teachable spirit.

We've tried to create an ethos of coaching and teachability.  This exist from staff all the way to adult volunteers.  Hearing people's opinions about our life's work is going to test this ethos.

Keep a positive tone

Just because your asking questions doesn't mean things are bad.  In fact, it's better to do an assessment before things are negative.  Language like, "we want to be as effective as possible" instead of, "the sky is falling" will serve you well.

Don't make promises

Try not to give the impression that someones's opinion = change.  If 75% of your middle schoolers want a lock in every other weekend you're probably not going to do that.

Don't promise change, just use this time to listen.

Remember the individual

At the end of the day ministry is about 1 kid.  The whole reason we're doing the assessment is to make sure we're doing everything within our ability to reach, connect and deepen that 1 kid.  If you have 500 in your ministry it's still a ministry of individual hearts.  Are they connected?

As a fellow youthworker allow me to encourage you.

Stop, look and listen.

It's hard work to discover what you don't know but taking the time to listen and adjust will result in greater impact on the Kingdom for His glory.  It's worth it.