Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dating - Raising the Bar

Last night and this morning I'm hanging out with my friend Nick in Colorado Springs. He's a great youth pastor with a sharp mind. (well, kind of) We've been talking about teens and dating and thinking about what it would look like to raise the bar for students.

Earlier this morning Nick said something very profound. He said for years the church and Christian parents have basically said anything goes as long as you make it to your wedding bed a virgin. As a matter of fact many times parents love the whole dating game and encourage their kids to play and play often.

Here's the problem. When emotional intimacy is achieved physical intimacy isn't far behind. It's kind of like throwing kids in the pool and telling them not to get wet. It also seems that God's heart and desire for students goes deeper than sex.

What if the goal was deeper and more profound than virginity? What if the question was something like this?

What does it look like for students to relate to the opposite sex in a way that is healthy for them and glorifying to God?

Answering this question goes deeper than "how far is too far".

When I asked my high school students how often high school kids think or talk about the opposite sex they said at least 90% of the time. Now, I know that isn't a scientific pole, but this is a huge deal for our students. For those of us who work with students we must help them think through how the gospel applies to their dating relationships.

We shouldn't be satisfied with kids limping over the finish line of marriage virgins. Healthy, God honoring relationships go much deeper than saving your body for marriage. It's also an issue of saving your heart for marriage.


  1. David,

    I am currently writing a message on the exact same thing. We are in the middle of a series called "fLee". It's our series on sex and dating. Great stuff here. Let me know if you figure it all out. Ha.

  2. Dude. Would love to hear your ideas.!