Life, Student Ministry, The Next Generation
Control is lost once they are out of sight. It is a "because I said so" type of parenting. Influence can follow them for a lifetime. It grows out of respect for how you live your life, which means it is much more difficult.
I was taught in the Air Force that the control you speak of is "positional influence", gained by rank (in this case as a parent) and you keep that no matter what. A much more powerful kind is called "earned influence", which you gain out of trust and respect but it can be lost if you do something to betray that trust or respect.