3 All Time Greatest Clips for Student Talks

Back in the day (20 years ago) it seemed you had to have a video illustration for any youth talk you did.

Oh how times have changed.

Now it seems better to use almost nothing when you speak, however sometimes you find just the perfect clip that drives home an important point.

So, with that in mind I thought we would take a trip down memory lane. Here are what I believe are the 3 greatest clips of all time for youth talks. Yes, these are old school and yes, I'm old. But anyway...

When this movie came out I had young boys who played baseball. I love this movie and particularly this clip. Over the years I've used this to inspire students to pursue others who are different and help them feel welcomed.

Tomorrow morning I'm using it as an illustration of how God longs to use us and says to us, "just put your hand up, I'll do the rest". He does take the ordinary person and makes them extraordinary.

OK, beyond being unbelievably funny this is a great clip. It's a halarious illustration of how a hypocritical person says one thing but believes and feels another. It resonates with students because they all have "friends" (notice the sarcasm) who say one thing and do another.

It shows how ridiculous we as Christians look when we raise our hands and sing passionately but our lives show no reflection of that passion.

Ok, I didn't find the exact clip but this is a powerful movie. It illustrates how most of us live, as if God is not satisfying enough.

Seth, the angel gives up eternity and God so he can have Meg Ryan's character. The movie is the total opposite of "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere".

The best scene is at the end of the movie where Seth says he would rather have one kiss of her lips than eternity without it. He trades God for a girl. In a different way, we trade God for momentary pleasure all the time don't we?

No, I don't feel the pressure to find the perfect clip for a talk anymore, but it's still fun to think it through and very effective when the clip hits the bullseye. Just because the newness of technology has worn off doesn't mean we shouldn't utilize it when it serves the message.

Anyway, that's the best I have (or can remember).

What would be your top 3?

You might be event driven if...

Whether they realize it or not, most student ministries I encounter lean towards being relationship driven or event driven.

 In my opinion the most effective ministries are driven by relationship. A majority (if not all) of student ministry leaders would claim that relationship is their philosophy and drives their ministry.  But the question for each of us is this, does our philosophy match our practice?

By relationship driven I mean staff or ministry leadership spending significant time recruiting, equipping and shepherding other adults and unleashing them to live life to life with students.

 Relational driven ministry is most effective when adults who love Jesus are spending intentional time with students, not simply teaching them information but really involved in their life.

There is tremendous Biblical support for this ministry philosophy. From Jesus to Paul, this is the way they lead and poured into others. This has been my ministry philosophy for 24 years.

The question for myself and others is simple,

do we say we are relationally driven

but execute a different ministry philosophy practically?

Here's the problem.

Many times we don't get "graded" based on how well relationship is growing in our ministry. Often we are seen as successful when there are tons of students in one place at one time and the programming is slick and inviting. Often we are graded on how effective our "talk" is and how students, parents and peers view our ability to communicate.  How we perceive we are graded drives how we spend our time and energy.

Don't get me wrong, if we're doing large group programming it should be done with the highest level of excellence, but many times the tail wags the dog.  Before we know it our desire to have the right event steals time from where we know life change is really going to happen, knee to knee, nose to nose and face to face.

My passion for relationship driven ministry has recently been renewed.

This year I'm leading a group of 9th and 10th grade guys and to be honest time with them seems to have more impact than 5 of my talks combined. We meditate on the Word, talk about how it applies to our life and pray for each other. They ask great questions and I'm blown away by their desire to please the Lord.

For years I have been afraid that I talked about discipling students and pursuing them relationally without really putting my money and time where my mouth is.

So how do we know if we're prioritizing events and neglecting relationship? 

Sometimes it's not that easy to tell if you're event driven. In a desire to help us think through where we are in the event verses relational tension I've come up with a way to process.

You've heard "you might be a redneck if" by our friend Jeff Foxworthy, well, here's a student ministry version to help you think through your own ministry.

You might be event driven if...

you spend a majority or your time with students

I know, you're in student ministry to hang with students right? The simple truth is you don't have the ability to connect with every student in your ministry at a deep level. Believe it or not there may be someone who connects with a student in your group better than you. True relational ministry spends intentional and organic time with adults who are relating to students.

If all your time is spent with students then perhaps YOU are relational, but most likely you're not leading a relationship driven ministry. Take some time to look at your calendar. How much of your schedule is devoted to spending time with your leaders? No matter how large or small your ministry is, trained adult leaders are the key to relational ministry.

You might be event driven if...

you spend more money on pyrotechnics and moving lights than adult leaders

A couple years ago I looked at my budget and saw that a large percentage of my money was going to trips, retreats and events. Very little of it was going to nurturing and training my adults. Of course we need money for trips, they can be the most relational part of our ministry, but if your budget is dominated by special speakers, new lights and tee shirts with little to no money for adult leadership development you might have fallen victim to event driven ministry.

What about setting aside some money for them to take students for coffee? What about some money to take them out to dinner to get to know them better and show appreciation. You could perhaps bring a speaker in to train and inspire your adult leaders. If you're relationship driven put your money where your mouth is.  Spend some of your budget on adults.

You might be event driven if...

50% or more of your week is spent in event planning and implementation

Again, gatherings must be done with excellence, that means careful planning. Your teaching should be Biblical and engaging but balance is the key. If it's taking more than half your time to pull off great programming, maybe you should consider changing how often you offer events.

When pulling off great events robs you of time and energy something has to give. Does the event win or does relationship win?

You might be event driven if...

your small group ministry meets at 8:30am Sunday

When do your small groups gather? Are you giving them prime time and prime attention or are they meeting when no student will show? We need to ask the question, "if we could only do one thing in our ministry, what would that one thing be?". And then, "if we only had one time to do it, when would it be?"

I've talked to youth workers who claim their relationally driven small groups are the most important piece of their programming, yet their small groups don't meet at the best possible time. Prime time is different for different places and ministries, find out what is prime time for you and place your most important piece of programming at that time.

Your might be event driven if...

you just remembered you have a leader's meeting...tomorrow

Ok, we've all been there. Things sneak up on us but what if we spent as much time and energy planning and pulling off leader's meetings as we do student gatherings?

Your leaders need constant connection and training. They don't want another meeting but gathering together is a priority. If and when we pull them together they should never be able to legitimately say the gathering was a waste of time. Think through your gathering times and make sure they're inspiring, shepherding and effective.

So there you have it. May we be leaders who constantly walk up hill in pursuing relationship as the greatest key to ministry effectiveness. Let's do great events but not at the expense of relationship.

What would you add?  Do you feel the "event vs. relationship" tension?

Yes, I'm "Homo-Duplex"

Why do humans always seem to ask the question, "is there more"?

Why do people long to know and be known by others?

I came across this fascinating TED talk discussing why people are communal and seek transcendence.

Haidt refers to humas as "homo-duplex", we live in a physical world and are many times satisfied with fulfilling the mundane desires of life BUT people also have a longing for more, something more transcendent. Over the centuries people have reached this transcendence in a variety of ways including dancing, war, drugs and yes spirituality.

If you don't have time to watch the entire talk there is a 3 minute "video in a nutshell" at the end of the talk which does a wonderful job abbreviating.

I love this talk but see things differently. Obviously I lack the education and brilliance of Haidt, but as I look at this through the lens of my theological construct there are a couple of truths that jump out.

1. Every human is created in the image of God

Because of this simple truth people long for that which God longs, even if we don't know it. We long for a just world, love and togetherness.

God is community. We see this clearly in the cosmic dance of the trinity. Father, Son and Holy Spirit united in community from eternity past. Every person who has ever lived longs for and needs communal connection; knowing and being known.

2. Eternity is written on hearts

"He has put eternity into man's heart" - Ecclesiastes tells us that God has hot wired us to long for things greater than ourselves. Haidt speaks of a staircase that takes us to a higher consciousness or calling.

Of course we're "homo-duplex". God has made us with a longing for things that are transcendent.

I struggle through this every day in my own walk. Will I live to place my roots on this earth or will I believe that I'm living for something far more grand, the Glory of God? "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love".

Haidt is so right about a couple points, humans long to climb the "staircase" and people long for togetherness. He states fact but is missing the answer to the question "what's the point"?

As I watched this I was reminded that people are seeking. They're looking for answers to the deep questions they're asking.

May we, the church, be a people who live out the gospel in authenticity, wisdom and boldness. Yes, the gospel is still the answer to life's most basic questions.

My Friend Julie

Julie Pierce is one of the sharpest leaders I know.

When I first came to IBC she was my boss and led me through a difficult time of transition. As you know, transition is never easy and it can be incredibly difficult. Her leadership made it as smooth as possible and launched me into effective service.

She is passionate, wise and courageous. I have the privilege of working with her daily and am amazed by her heart for the Lord, her family and her church.

If you have a moment, check out her website and blog. She has a particular heart to equip women to lead and serve AND she's great at what she does.

http://empoweredbypierce.com/

"Homework" for Small Groups??

Here's a quick question for those of you serving in student ministry.

Do you provide / require curriculum for students to do outside of the group time?

I had a discussion with a student last night who is a great kid but is very busy. He told me he didn't have 5 minutes a day to read a book we're using for curriculum for our small groups. I believe him. He does seek God through the Word consistently.

So, do you have curriculum that is to be done outside group time? How do students respond? Talk to me.

Why You Cannot Miss YS Palooza

Next weekend is YSPalooza DFW.

YS Palooza - Dallas / Ft. Worth

Our student ministry staff is attending and we're strongly encouraging all our adult volunteers to join us. If you're a youth pastor or work with students in the DFW area you can not miss this opportunity.

Here's why...

It's Relatively Convenient

Let's face it, our volunteers are incredibly busy, but I can't imagine a better opportunity for our people to be exposed incredible voices sharing their heart about student ministry. It is a couple of days over a weekend but it will be worth the time. Our staff and volunteers will definately walk away knowing it was worth their time.

Reinforcing Voices

It's a huge win when the "experts" reinforce what's being said to volunteer leadership. When Kara, Jim and Doug present I can trust their message is in alignment with how we've been training and enccouraging our leaders for the last couple years. It will make us look a little smarter and trust me, we need all the help we can get.

It's Affordable

YS has priced the event in a way that makes it assessable to everyone. Equipping our adult leaders is a high value in our student ministry, therefore we're paying half their cost out of our budget. We honestly believe it will make that big of a difference in their lives and the life of our student ministry.

The Line Up Is Incredible

Just to name a few, Doug Fields, Jim Burns, Walt Mueller and Kara Powell are going to be speaking. It's unbelievable that our volunteers are going to get to hear the freshest most experienced voices in student ministry today right in their own back yard.

So, I'm excited about how God is going to use this ultimately in the lives of students in our area. As our leaders grow and develop so our ministry grows and develops. If you haven't thought about coming and bringing leaders with you it's not too late.

Be there.

By the way, if you're there please look me up. It would be fun to connect and I'll buy the coffee.

Happy Saint Paddy's Day

This morning I'm watching people begin their St. Patrick's Day celebration. Most people use today as an excuse to drink mass amounts of green beer but I was curious, who was this guy and what's the big deal?

Saint Patrick was a real man who lived around the 4th century and brought gospel transformation to the people of Ireland. As a teenager he was captured as a slave and forced to move to Ireland. After he secured his freedom was called by God to return to Ireland. God used him powerfully to transform the entire Island.

Here's a portion of a prayer he wrote. It's powerful and worth meditation.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
From snares of the devil,
From temptations of vices,
From every one who desires me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a multitude.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through a confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation

So, as you're enjoying Guinness today, say a prayer of thanks for this man who was used by God to radically share the gospel.

Accepting Students Where They Are

No 2 students are the same.

Chris shows up just because his girlfriend is there.

Jessica comes just because her parents make her.

Brandon is there just because he wants to study the Bible.

Lisa shows up just because she loves to sing worship music.

Jonathan comes just because he always has.

Peter is there just because he has fun.

Demarland is always around just because he has nowhere else to go.

Christy is there just because she has always felt loved there.

Encouraging students to move towards Jesus or deeper in Jesus is a value of every student ministry. Different students show up at different points in their spiritual journey. That can make it difficult to plan and program.

Maybe you have students who have never heard the clear gospel. There may be students who have been hurt by church and have a deeper cynicism towards faith. Or maybe there are students who are growing and are hungry for the Word. All of us have students who attend church just because their parents make them or they feel it's their religious obligation.

How do we "accept every student where they are and help them move closer to Jesus"?

Of course, the solution is always to connect students in relationship with Godly adults and students but with so much diversity how do we make sure students have the greatest opportunities to move forward in their faith?

Here are 5 thoughts...

Provide Diverse Gathering Opportunities

No 2 pieces of programming should look the same. Most committed students will only give 2 to 3 time slots to your ministry a week. Make sure those gatherings have specific purpose and goals in mind. In other words, avoid having the same programming 2 different times a week.

Know Your Target Audience

Do you have space in your programming for students who have the time and desire to invest in their spiritual life? Do you have a gathering that is designed to engage the friends of your students? Sure, all that we do can impact most of our students, but having a focus will insure we are being sensitive to the issue of spiritual diversity.

Offer Different Size Gatherings

For some students a large group gathering is where they are comfortable "kicking the tires" and testing the waters of church. For others it may be a relaxed small group gathering that allows time to have honest safe discussion about God and faith. Thinking through "large, mid sized, or small" gatherings will insure more students get and stay connected.

Create A Diverse Adult Leadership Team

Some adult leaders are naturally drawn towards the unchurched, others want to take students deep in Bible study. Some adult leaders are athletic while others may love music or technology. Know the hearts of your leaders and place them appropriately. This should also be on your mind when thinking through who to recruit for next fall.

Make "Acceptance" A Core Value

In our church setting we feel the need to serve all our students and their friends. Our desire is to see each student through the eyes of compassion and accept them where they are. This sometimes gets messy but we believe it's the way Jesus sees us. To be honest, sometimes it's easier to love the student far from God than the one who grew up in church, however we're called to accept each of them where they are and point them to Jesus.

May we serve in ministries that recognize the diversity and value of each student. Let's plan and pray that our ministries reflect this desire.

Hosea, A Love Story

For the season of Lent our church is teaching through the book of Hosea. Hosea is the story of a husband who pursues his wife even though she is chasing other lovers.

By the way, it's a picture of God pursuing his people. Sometimes his people forsake finding satisfaction in HIM to chase after other lovers. Sometimes it's what I do.

Here are a couple of videos IBC has produced to show the depth and struggle of adultery... spiritual adultery.

May we seek to find our satisfaction and love in and through Jesus. Only he will satisfy.

Asking My Daugther For Help

This weekend we're sharing with parents at IBC the importance of "principle based parenting". Many parents chase after the latest strategy or method which can leave them frustrated and shallow. There are certain foundations that must be in place.

One of the most important principles for parenting is the principle of relationship. Most of us with children would agree and say "of course" but for many reasons relationship with our kids is a struggle.

Intentionally and aggressively pursuing relationship with your children is essential.

My children are older now. I came across this little clip that reminded me of how time flies. Of course I could have done more, but the past can't be changed, the future can.



Lauren is my youngest kid at 16. Yesterday we had a great and candid conversation. I shared with her I wanted to do a better job pursuing relationship with her. I simply want to do better.

You see, sometimes I don't know how to pursue relationship with her. It's not easy reading her and discerning what she needs from me. So I simply asked her for help. We're going to work on it together. She had some great ideas and shared with me some things I had done that hurt her. We made significant headway in our relationship.

So, what about asking your kids (if they're a little older) how you might go about pursuing relationship with them? Just asking the question is good but applying the answers could be transforming.

Question for Parents / Control or Influence?

Would you rather have control of your kids OR would you rather have influence?

What do you believe is the difference?

Parenting at IBC Guiding Principles

This year Irving Bible Church is launching ministry to parents. Our desire is to provide equipping and connection for parents no matter the age of their children.

When the parenting advisory team began to meet it became clear we needed guiding principle or values that would drive what we teach and how we teach it.

These principles flow from a list of values the next gen ministry is putting together to guide us in leading families with children from birth through young adulthood.

Let me know what you think.

Because every family member can benefit from other generations,

We value thoughtful opportunities for intergenerational connections.

Because true life change happens primarily in the context of relationship,

We value smaller groups that provide true community.

Because God’s heart is gracious towards us,

We value parenting that centers on grace rather than performance.

Because God's Word is living and active

We value Biblical truth as essential in parenting

Because growing means caring for those beyond our homes,

We value equipping children, youth and parents to serve our body and the world.

Because hypocrisy is the opposite of truthfulness,

We value parenting that models appropriate transparency and authenticity.

Because strategies only are situationally based,

We value parenting grounded in lasting principles which transcend life stages.

This stuff is new to us. What would you add? Is there a statement that feels out of place?

2012 Bible Reading Plan

The Bible.

It seems we should read it, study it, meditate on it and apply it. I guess I'm a little old school with it comes to the scripture.

For the last 10 years at the beginning of the year, I pray about which part of the Bible should be my focus. 2 years ago was spent in Isaiah and last year was Proverbs. This year is a little different.

It's been so long since I've read through the entire Bible I thought it would be good to find a reading plan that takes me through the entire Bible.

You Version is a great tool and what I'm using in 2012. The reading plan is called "Eat This Book".

Ok, not the greatest title in the world but I love the layout. In addition to few chapters every day, it adds a Psalm with every reading. That way when you're in the middle of Leviticus you will read a Psalm that might be more conducive for personal worship.

Here's the link to the plan...

Eat This Book

If you don't have a plan for 2012 check this out. Let's do it together.

What's your reading plan for 2012?

New Year's - Push the Pause Button

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueller

Happy New Year!

Today and tomorrow is a wonderful time to meditate and reflect on life. 2011 has brought blessing, struggle, disappointment and joy.

That's life isn't it?

There's something important about remembering. Did you experience great victories in 2011? Where did you see the hand of God clearly in your life? Were there times of great struggle and failure?

For me, the answer is a resounding YES!

Today or tomorrow take some significant time to push the pause button and reflect. Here are some ideas.

1. Look through your calendar or journal

There's no way I can remember last week much less the 3rd week of January. If you journal this is a great wonderful time to skim through your thoughts from last year. Your calendar is another way to stop and remember. Whatever you use, work though 2011 slowly and think about how you spent your time and energy.

As you look over last year some events will jump out at you. As these special events jump off the page, slow down and reflect.

2. Stop and give thanks

After taking a stroll down memory lane stop and thank God for all the blessings. Remember, some times blessings don't seem that way when you're going through life. Sometimes looking back can bring difficult circumstance in to focus. "In all things give thanks."

3. Embrace your failure

As you honestly reflect there will be times of regret. Be honest with yourself.

I plan to own up to my struggle and failure, once again tell God I'm sorry and ask for his grace and power to grow in 2012. You may need to pick up the phone and call someone you've wronged. Whatever the case, use this as an opportunity to apply God's grace to your life not to sit in shame.

4. Jot down 3-5 hopes for 2012

Ok, this is a little different than New Year resolutions. Where do you hope to see the hand of God in your life and your loved ones next year?

Some of these hopes may be simple like, "I hope to spend more meaningful time with my wife". Or they may be "bhag" hopes. (big, audacious, hairy goals). Wherever God takes your thoughts and imagination make sure you're depending on the power of the gospel not your effort.

5. Share your hopes

We need prayer. Hopefully you have some people close to you who will share in your desires for 2012. If not, maybe that could be one of your "hopes"? Find a couple people to share what you're praying for in 2012.

Life happens at the speed of sound. Let's use this holiday as an excuse to stop, reflect and connect with a God who has been and will be gracious.

Top 9 in 2011

Everybody's doing it. So to keep up with the Jones'...

Why just 9 you ask? Well honestly, I'm not sure what the 10th most read blog of 2011 is.

So here are 9 most read posts of 2011. They're probably at the top because my mom read them over and over again, thanks mom!

Number 9

Love / Hate Relationship with Student Mission Trips

This was written while sitting in a hotel in Honduras at the end of leading a trip with high school students. It was an amazing experience but as usual I had a big questions.

Number 8

Sleeping with the Least of These

Our high school pastor Trey Grant does a great job challenging students to empathize with the poor. This a letter from a parent who was involved.

Number 7

My Little Girl

My daughter's 16th birthday was this year. This is about / for her.

Number 6

My Future Moral Failure

After hearing stories of Godly men committing public sin, I was reminded of my own frailty and potential collision course with scandalous sexual sin.

Number 5

Teen Age Dream - A Look at Teen Romantic Relationships

One of the greatest struggles teens have is navigating how they will handle their relationships with the opposite sex. It effects all their relationships; parents, friends and God.

Number 4

End of School Year Email to Adult Leaders

How can small group leaders serve their students through the summer? Here's a note our highs school ministry sent to our leaders.

Number 3

IBC Student Ministry Internships

This is simply our information sheet on how we do our 2 year internships at IBC.

Number 2

Reminders from "Friday Night Lights"

When on vacation I watched most of this TV series. It impacted me at a deep level. There's more to come on this as I've now finished every episode.

Number 1

Please Pray

This was a short email sent to the IBC staff the morning after one of our students, Jha'Kyric Nixon drowned. That night I led a candle night service. 1 week later I had the privilege of officiating the funeral. God did a magnificent work but students are still hurting today.

Wow, what a year. Can I encourage you to take some time and reflect on your year? Maybe sit down with your calendar and look through the year to remember God's blessing. Of course there where hard times, but remembering God's goodness at the end of the year helps launch us into a grace filled new year.

Happy 2012!