Doubt

"Lord, there is often a sea of doubt
that rages deep beneath the surface of my life.
Unanswered prayers, pain, and hidden sins
are too easily masked by my shallow spirituality.

Lord, I am ready for the facade to be washed away.
I need an encounter with the Spirit of Truth
to reveal the reality of my heart's condition
that I may be set free to trust Your word and Your will.

Help me, Father, to mute the doubt in my heart.
Help me, Son of God, to release my pain to you.
Lead me, Spirit to a life of freedom and joy,
Blessed Trinity, help me understand Your Advent."

Shawn Small, "Via Advent"

Do you ever doubt what God says?

I'm not talking about intellectual doubt but practical, "how you live" doubt.

This morning I continue my advent meditation by reading Shawn Small's "Via Advent".

http://www.shawnsmallstories.com/the-via-advent-day-8/

The story this morning describes Zachariah's encounter with Gabriele and how Zachariah questioned the validity of the angel's announcement. As the story unfolds I can easily see myself doubting the way Zachariah did. No, doubt for me isn't about believing things angels say to me, it's way more subtle and internal.

Here's is a statement from God that is hard for me to believe...

"In my presence is fullness of joy, in my right hand are pleasures forever"

In simply reading the statement it's easy to believe, it's in living it out that deep doubt is exposed. You see, if I believe this simple statement about the heart of God it changes everything. It changes how I pursue God. It changes how I view lust in my life. It changes how I view prosperity. It changes how I view position and prestige. Believing what God says to be true in the routine of our lives changes everything.

I feel eerily similar to the man in the New Testament who said to Jesus, "I believe, help my unbelief". As with any sin the solution isn't to try harder but repentance and to cry out to God saying, "help my unbelief".

So, may we be people who see our own unbelief and take it to God, asking him for the grace to believe the unbelievable, isn't that what the Christmas story is all about?