Next Gen - Do You Have Common Language?

In a church ministry context it's always a challenge to create and implement consistency across children, student and young adult ministries.  We're trying to figure it out.  

Last Saturday ALL our next gen volunteers gathered for a time of training, encouragement and inspiration.  In our ministry context next gen includes...

children's ministry, 
middle school ministry, 
high school ministry, 
college ministry, 
young adult ministry and
parenting ministry.

Training All Next Gen Leaders Together?

What!?!  

Student Ministry and Children's Ministry actually working together?  That's kind of like the lion and the lamb hanging together.

Not just student ministry and children's ministry, this Saturday all of the leaders from children's, student, college and young adult's ministries are joining together for a day of training.

Of course there is a huge difference between a volunteer who rocks a baby and a volunteer who leads a small group of emerging adults.  Of course we'll have appropriate training for specific age groups but we're super excited to have all our next gen leaders in the same room.

Here are 3 reasons we're so excited...

1)  We want each leader to know that they're a part of a BIGGER story.

Should I Tell The Parents? - 4 Thoughts To Consider

It's a tough question isn't it?  

If your ministry is going well it's good and natural for students to trust the adults around them.  As trust is developed sometimes they'll share struggles and failures with a small group leader or a pastor that they might not share with their parents.

So what do we do with that information?  

Should we tell their parents EVERYTHING?

Do we tell parents NOTHING?

Last week some smart people chimed in with some thoughts and ideas worth considering.

Should You Tell The Parents?

As I've listened to their wisdom here's some thoughts I've been considering when faced with the question, "when should we include parents?"

Some situations are black and white

Should You Tell The Parents?

I had a discussion with a volunteer small group leader that I have often in student ministry.  It went something like this.

"Susie (generic girl name) says she no longer believes in God, should I talk to her parents?"

Other questions that come up are, "he tried cigarettes, should I tell his parents?" or "she's dating THAT guy, should I talk to her parents?" or "he said a bad word..."

You get the idea.  

As we seek to disciple students and partner with parents when do we bring parents into these kinds of conversations?  Our small groups are governed by principles of confidentiality but as you know that doesn't mean you never share what's going on in a kids life.

So, here's the question...

When do you bring parents into the loop as it relates to "confidential" conversations with kids?

I have some ideas but wanted to hear what ya'll (I'm in Texas) have to say first.

Let's learn from one another...

4 Reasons this Dad / Pastor is Thankful for our Student Ministry

 

Over the past few days I've been overwhelmed by the influence student ministry has had on my family.  It's good to stop and reflect.

It's been quite a week.  My 2 oldest sons drove from Georgia to be with the family for my daughter's high school graduation.  Andrew, Austin, Zach and Lauren were all in Dallas as were my in-laws and parents.  What an amazing time.

As a youth pastor my goal has never been to develop relationship with every kid in the youth group, that would be impossible and ineffective.  My deep desire has been to insure every kid has opportunity for meaningful relationship with adults who love Jesus and love them.  

As a father I'm thankful this is the heart of our student ministry.

You see, over the last days I've been reminded of the Godly adults who have shared life with my daughter.  Of course her brothers and grandparents have been there, but then there's Shelly, Brian, Lori, Scott, Alisha, Nat, Dana, Sasha, Mary Ann, Chris, Chelsea, Sylvia, Bryan, Allison, Steve, Jackie, Andrea, Mark, Jade, Javi, Jenn, Susan, Carrie and so many more.  

Some of these relationships have come organically through my friendships but others have come through our student ministry's intentional desire to connect Godly adults with kids.  It seems this is the way the body of Christ is supposed to function.

As I've been reflecting here are areas I'm particularly thankful for...

A safe place for Godly council - 

As a dad I don't know everything nor do I need to know everything going on in the life of my daughter.  I'm so thankful for a safe place for Lauren to share her struggles with Godly adults who love her.  Within these relationships she can doubt, cry, complain and struggle.  I TRUST THEM to provide great Godly wisdom.

A voice of reinforcement -

Obviously I'm not privy to conversations with my daughter and her adult leaders, however, I do know them well enough to know they point her to Biblical truth and wisdom.  You know how it is, as a parent your kids think you no nothing, but when someone else speaks truth it all of a sudden makes sense.  We've needed that over the years.

A foundation of prayer - 

I pray for my kids with frequency and fervency but what an incredible blessing to know other adults who are doing the same.  God has answered those prayers and it makes a difference.

Consistent accountability - 

All of us need to be pursued when we lose our way.  I'm in accountability and need my fanny kicked every once in a while.  (ok, maybe often)  It's so comforting to know you're not the only adult saying hard things to your kids.  God has used these conversations to protect my daughter.

Lauren has had and continues to have a constellation of adults speak into her life.  Some of those adults have influenced a little from a distance and others are close with deep ongoing relationship.  Whether a little or a lot, I'm so thankful for each of those encouraging voices.

If you're a parent, help your kids develop deep relationship with other Godly adults.  Take full advantage of your student ministry's small groups.  Trust that God is in the middle of those relationships.

If you're a youth pastor, work to make sure every student has opportunity for connection with trained / Godly adult leaders.  You can't and shouldn't try to disciple every student in your youth group.  But you should seek to see every student discipled.

If you're a youth pastor and a parent?  Rejoice in the truth that God has designed the Body to function this way.  It truly does take a village.

Adult Leaders and Summertime

Ahhhh, summertime and student ministry!!!

Mission trips
Camp
VBS
Texas Rangers Baseball
Slip and Slide Kickball
Bahama Bucks
120 Degrees

I can't wait!  But what about your adult leaders?

Our student ministry is based on "life on life" small groups led by Godly passionate adult leaders.  Our small group program takes the summer off because our leaders need a little break from the hectic school year.  

But there's tension, discipleship isn't a program but a relationship.  

Every spring we struggle with the question, "what's a healthy expectation for our adult volunteers through the summer"?  Summer doesn't weaken their heart for students but our summer schedule doesn't give our leaders a weekly small group setting in which to connect.

It's important that you give them expectations and ideas.  Without a "program" they're attending they may need help understanding what their role should be.  Communicate, communicate, communicate.

In an attempt to find balance with giving our leaders some down time but continue the rhythm of relationship here's what we're asking of them.  

In fact, here's a portion of an email we sent them yesterday.

We want you to have some time off over the summer but also know that relationship doesn’t take time off.  Here’s some suggestions.

1.  Swing by on Sunday nights as often as possible.

We don’t have life groups but we will be having our “What I wish I knew in high school series”.  Your presence is so important to kids.  Show up if you can.

2.  Go to beach camp.

Nothing says “relationship” like camp.  What do you think?

3.  Keep those twitter, Facebook and Instagram relationships going.

It’s not face to face relationship but it reminds kids there are adults who love them and are in the game.

4.  Plan a summer outing.

One time this summer plan something fun for you and your group.  If you need ideas reach out to Chris or Chelsea.

We’re in the process of finishing up our summer calendar.  We will make sure you get a copy asap.  In the meantime here are some dates to put on your calendar.

May 29 – Night to honor graduating Seniors
May 31 – Adult Leader’s Year End Cookout – Mary Ann Connor’s
June 2 – Last Life Group:  “Remember”
July 8 – 12 – Beach Camp
July 17 – Summer SWAG
August 17 – Fall Training (Mandatory for all Leaders)

My hope was to give them options without them feeling pressured.  Many of them will take initiative and go above and beyond.  Others really do need some time to breath and rest.  I hope they feel the freedom to take it.

So, here's to a great 3 months of fruitful student ministry.  

How do you utilize your volunteers through the summer months?  

We're all ears.

Can you hear me?

A group of middle school and high school students were recently asked a simple question.  Their answers were totally anonymous.

"What would you tell your parent / parents if they would simply LISTEN without any repercussion?"

Here's a sample of what they said:

Stop treating me like a child

Please stop looking at my text, they are personal to me!

I have a Facebook account and I still kept my Instagram account as well-without your permission.

Trust my judgment instead of looking through my phone.

I love you.

I love you not matter what I say or do, I always will.

Stop yelling

Please take my ideas and thoughts into consideration.  Consider my point of view more.

I wouldn’t really want to tell them anything important, because there really isn’t anything important to tell them.  I mostly like to keep my feelings to myself.

How hard it is to deal with life and trying to stay away from the guys I love.

I have thoughts about dying because of them. 

I have been thinking about moving to a group home.  I feel like it would be a good option.

I would tell them about my heart for missions and telling other people about God because God has been working with me about that.

I feel pressured by the family.  I was embarrassed as a child of certain things because of you all.

I would tell them to actually spend time with me and not ignore me because it hurts when they ignore me.

I would tell my parents to listen to me more, and not to yell at me.  Those kinda go together.

I would tell them that I don’t like when they blame each other for things that…

Listen to me and not yell at me.

About all my troubles and fears.

They need to understand more than yell at me about my grades.

Tell me truth.  Don’t hide things from me in order to protect me.

I try my hardest.

Believe in me.  Don’t doubt me.

I would tell them to please listen better sometimes.

Listen without arguing.

Give more privacy.

Stop controlling me.

Have strength.  I love you.

Stop being so critical when it comes to grades.

Give me more money.

Love you mom.

Understand me.

Why do you say you love me when you punish me?

You make me do so much!!!

Stop controlling.

I love you.  Thank you.

Get back together.

My life, not yours.

I watched porn.

Stop saying yes when you want to say no.

Please stop reading my texts.  They are privacy!  I do nothing bad and you know that.

I’m struggling in school and I try my hardest to pass.

I don’t like eating sometimes, but I don’t think I’m fat.

I’m bi-sexual.

Mom and Dad, I love you!

Mom-stop drinking and being mean.

Pay more attention to me.

Mom-stop being mean to me and yelling.

Stop screaming at me.

You shouldn’t be so overprotective.  I’m sorry for not doing what you say.

Over protective.

Stop yelling.

You should listen to my siblings and me.

Just listen.

Listen to me.

Stop judging

Thank you for being amazing and love me so well.

Don’t be so strict, it only makes me want to do bad things.  Strict parents create sneaky children.

I’m scared you are fan of Jesus with good morals and not actually a Christ follower.  You have never shown me what it means by the way you live your life.

I’m worried that if you knew everything about me, you’d hate me.

Mom, I am tired of you always getting on to me about little things.  I am not perfect nor are you, although that is what it seems like you think.

I would like to be left alone when I get angry or when you see me becoming angry.

You don’t have to yell.

I’m embarrassed to share my personal feelings with you because you aren’t understanding.

I am not comfortable sharing personal things with you, not because I don’t think you can help, but because I am embarrassed to.

Thank you for all you do.  I love you so much.  Thanks for always being here.

Thank you for everything.  I love you.  I know I don’t respect you enough.  

As a father, youth worker and person who advocates for the next generation this list was a lot for me to take.  Sure there were some positive comments, but for the most part kids don't feel heard and many of them are hiding their feelings and actions.  It's never good for kids to have secrets they are unwilling to share with a caring adult.

Will anyone listen?

Kids won't share if they don't trust.  They won't trust if there isn't relationship.  So whether you're a youth worker, parent or both, nurturing relationship with an emphasis on listening must be the highest priority.  

The hope is that we or other adults get to apply the power and beauty of the gospel to specific areas of their life.  Let's do the hard work of building relationship.

What do you think?

5 Ideas For Recruiting Your Best Team Ever (Well, Maybe)

Recruiting - For many youth workers it's a word we love to hate.

One of the most difficult but rewarding parts of leading a relational ministry is seeking and inviting other adults to serve.  It's super exciting to see equipped leaders operating in their giftedness.

In my experience April - June has been an important time for recruiting new leaders and retaining existing leaders.  It's important to complete recruiting before the craziness of summer hits.  If your volunteer team is nailed down by the middle of June it gives you the freedom to enjoy the summer without being too stressed out about small groups leaders in September.

Historically this has been one of the most difficult parts of my ministry.  I've experienced heavy stress, fear and frustration.  Let's face it, finding the right people to serve students is hard work.  
  
As you enter this season of recruiting here are a few ideas that may help ease the work load...

1.  Create a punch list

First things first.  Before you can seek leaders to fill roles you need to know what roles need to be filled.  This begins with meeting with current leaders and discovering their intent for the fall.

After you figure out who's sticking with you create a list where you can clearly see the gaps that must be filled.  As you create your list go ahead a dream about your leadership team.  Maybe this is the year you have 2 leaders per small group.  Is this the year you develop student leadership?  Don't forget to plan for potential growth.  

Whatever the case, make sure you have a clear understanding of the needs and dreams.

2.  Pray like crazy

Ok, I  don't mean to be overly spiritual here, but finding the right people to be in the right positions is a God sized task.  We must ask Him to lead us to the right people.  We need Him to prepare their hearts for the discussion.

Creating a environment of God dependent prayer is essential in finding the right people to serve students.  And by the way, when God answers prayer we get the benefit and He receives the glory.

3.  Ask your current leaders

Your best source for finding new volunteers is your current leaders.  Assuming they've bought into the ministry vision they can be your biggest cheerleaders and informed recruiters.  Each leader should be able to give you at least one person you could pursue.

4.  Cast a broad net

An up front announcement to the entire church or an article in the church newsletter is a good idea.  This won't be your most effective method of obtaining great leaders but you may pick up a name or so.  

Communicating church wide is also a way for you to tell the story of your ministry and the priority on life on life relationship. It's good for the whole church to know the power and potential of your ministry.

5.  Recruit like you lead

Relationally...  

Get to know the heart of potential leaders.  
Buy their lunch or coffee.  
Ask them to tell you their story.  
Find out about their family.  
What do they do for fun?
Find out who discipled them.
Discover who they are personally.  

You may find they are better equipped or passionate for other areas of ministry in your church.  If so connect them with the appropriate ministry.  You are not simply trying to fill a spot, you're helping them discover how God could use them.

At your first meeting don't let them give you a commitment about serving in your ministry.  Share vision and clear information about the expectations and time commitment.  Leave them with something to read and a ministry application.  Then ask them to pray for a week.

After a week or so give them a call and see if they have any more questions and find out if they're ready to pull the trigger.  After they say yes invite them to your fall training event or retreat.  

Remember your relationship with them is just beginning.  As you pursue, pray and care for them it will model how you want them to pursue, pray and care for students.

Having equipped adults who love Jesus and love kids has been a priority for my ministry for years.  Recruiting and sustaining the right team is one of the most difficult pieces of relational ministry but also the most rewarding.  

So, get started!  Summer (then September) will be here before you know it.

Kids In Pain - Perspective For Parents

Yesterday our student ministry led our students, adult leaders and parents in a discussion on the pain students experience.  

We have discovered that self mutilation (cutting) is common amongst our middle school and high school students who are hurting.

Trey Grant, our middle school pastor did a outstanding job seeing the need and bringing faith centered awareness and equipping to our people.

One of our parents was particularly touched by her own struggle with parenting and posted an outstanding blog this morning.

If you're a parent I encourage you to read it.

If you're a youth worker I encourage you to pass it on to your parents.

Parenting by Fear or by Faith

May we be people (parents, youthworkers, grandparents, leaders) who see the next generation as Jesus does, with great compassion.

2 Reasons I Love JFYM

I was a just a baby.

The first time I interviewed for a student ministry position I was asked about my "ministry philosophy".     To be honest I had no idea what to say.  It came out as "love Jesus and love kids".  Not a horrible answer but incomplete if you're going to have a student ministry with more than 6 students.

Believe it or not I got the job.  

A couple of years later my ministry philosophy was shaped and sharpened by a simple strategy called "Jesus Focused Youth Ministry".  JFYM isn't a program or event, but an overall student ministry strategy based on the ministry of Jesus.

Since the early 90's every student ministry I have led has in some way been shaped by this strategy.  

There's much I love about JFYM but here are two highlights...

It starts with the leader's connection with Jesus

The first time I heard Barry St. Clair talk about the importance of the leader connecting with Jesus through prayer and repentance it wrecked me.  As a young youth pastor I knew how important this was but to make my connection with Jesus an integral part of my student ministry strategy made total sense.  God used this time not only to grow me up as a pastor, but also as a dad, husband and man. 

It focuses on multiplication

I desperately needed to be challenged that one person couldn't single handedly reach and deepen every student.  That's not the way Jesus did ministry.  Hearing that God could and would use other leaders set me free to seek out and equip other ADULTS.  It wasn't about going from event to event but about investing in those who would invest in others.

With this change of approach my student ministry began to grow.  It grew in breadth and depth.

If you're looking to get off the treadmill of event driven ministry and develop a strategy that invests deeply in adult leaders and students check out JFYM.  It will make a difference in your ministry and for the Kingdom.

Reach Out Youth Solutions

If you have any questions let me know.  

Surveys for Student Ministry Assessment

If you work with students you know what it's like.  You're planning, preparing, hanging out with that hurting student or sitting in some kind of staff meeting (we all love those staff meetings).

Sometimes we run so fast we really have no idea how people are being served overall.

In my home church student ministry we're in a serious posture of listening and learning.  To learn more about the why and what of our assessment process you can read last Wednesday's student ministry post.

What's Really Going On In Your Ministry - Stop, Look and Listen

Part of our assessment process is sending and analyzing surveys.  Last week a few of you asked if I could share some samples of those surveys.

I was hesitant BUT what the heck.

As you look through the surveys please remember a couple of things...

1.  We're not experts at creating and analyzing surveys.

To be honest we have no idea what we're doing.  

Did you know there is actually a science to doing this kind of thing?  If you can find someone to help you think through how to ask the questions to get the information you need please take full advantage of that person's expertise.

Here are the broad questions we're trying to find answers too.

• Are people in our ministry being cared for generally?
• Do leaders and students feel connected?
• How are people feeling overall about the student ministry?
• Are we effective in communicating?

There is other information we wanted but these were the major themes.

2.  Obviously, these questions are for our ministry context.

They're very specific to IBC and the people we serve.

So, here are some samples to consider.  Take the ideas and use what you can to listen and learn from your ministry context.

Survey for volunteer leaders

Parent Survey

Student Survey

As you move ahead here are some warnings.  

If you send and receive surveys make sure you have thick skin and receive the information in a way that brings life and growth to your ministry.  Sometimes the truth can hurt but if that truth results in serving kids and families more effectively it's worth it.

Warning number 2 - Student ministry isn't a democratic process.  The purpose of our surveys isn't to let people vote on their preferences, it's to discover how we can more effectively build a relational ministry that results in the life change of students, families and our volunteer leaders.

Whatever you do don't get defensive and try to figure out who said what.  A defensive non-teachable posture will result in the opposite of what you're hoping to accomplish.

So there you go, let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

What's Really Going On In Your Ministry? - Stop, Look and Listen

Over the next 3 weeks we're in a time of heavy assessment of our student ministry.

Every once in a while it's important to push the pause button and take an honest look at what's going on.

Do you really know what's going on in your ministry?  

Do your adult leaders feel served or are they burned out?

Are your parents receiving the information they need to feel their kids are safe?

Is all the time and effort you're putting into planning and prepping effective in helping your students grow spiritually?

Listen, what you don't know doesn't help you.  Sometimes we're like the child who plays hide and seek not by hiding but by covering their eyes.  They're not really hiding, the're just simply not looking.

It's possible to lead ministry, invest in a few kids, experience a couple of great "God stories" and still have a ministry that's suffering from poor morale and lack of effectiveness.

How could we not know?

Well, we don't ask.  Sometimes we simply don't take the time to raise our heads above the clouds and look around.  And let's be honest, sometimes it's easier not to know.

Every effective youth worker I know stepped into youth ministry to see kids come to Christ, grow in Christ and change the world for Christ. (or something like that)  That's the grand goal.  It's so easy to be busy running a ministry without stopping to ask the question, "is there fruit"?

The assessment period

Spring is a great time to take the temperature of your ministry.  As you listen and learn you have time to implement change before next fall.  Here are a couple things we're doing in our ministry context.

Surveys

Over the next week we're creating and sending out 5 surveys.  I've found survey monkey is easy and cheap.  We're sending them to...

Small group leaders
High School students
Parents of high schoolers
Middle School students
Parents of middle schoolers

Surveys are not the end all but they do give valuable information.  For example, what night are high school students most available?  We all have the programming piece we believe requires prime time.  Are your high school students more available on Wednesday night or Sunday night?  Have you asked them?

Do your parents feel your partnering with them or competing with them?  Have you asked them?

Again, what you don't know doesn't help you.  By carefully asking questions you discover reality but also learn of perception and how people feel.

And by the way, it's almost always a good thing for the people we serve to feel heard.  By asking for their opinion you're showing them you care about them.

Conversations

During this period we're also having conversations with key leaders.  Key leaders include volunteers, students and parents.  This should be happening all the time but sometimes it's good to have an excuse and say to someone, "we're in a listen and learn season right now".  Having a set season where your giving special attention to listening and learning is important.

It's amazing what people will tell you when you ask them.

Eyes On

We're asking people who don't typically attend ministry programming to show up and watch.  We simply want to know what they see and experience.

I can hear it now, "no one knows my ministry better than me".  Well, maybe.  If you're at your programming all the time you have the curse of knowledge.  Often you're too close to the situation to see what you really need to see.

Take the risk of allowing extra eyes and ears.  You may learn something.

Data

I generally pay very little attention to attendance numbers, but during a season of assessment it may important to take a look.  Knowing how many doesn't tell you everything but it can tell you some things.  If the information is available now is the time to take a look to see what you learn.

For example, if you're ministry is driven by small group relationships it would be important to know kids are in small groups.  If 3000 are coming to your middle school worship event but 23 are in small groups there's a problem.  If you value high school students attending the main worship service wouldn't want to know if only 25% were consistently attending?

Compile

Finally, at the end of 2 or 3 weeks we'll sit down with all we learn.  It could be we discover we are the perfect student ministry and there is no need to change anything.  (ha)  Or it could be we simply need to adjust how we communicate.

My guess is that we'll find some areas in need of attention.

Final Cautions

Make sure you and your team have a teachable spirit.

We've tried to create an ethos of coaching and teachability.  This exist from staff all the way to adult volunteers.  Hearing people's opinions about our life's work is going to test this ethos.

Keep a positive tone

Just because your asking questions doesn't mean things are bad.  In fact, it's better to do an assessment before things are negative.  Language like, "we want to be as effective as possible" instead of, "the sky is falling" will serve you well.

Don't make promises

Try not to give the impression that someones's opinion = change.  If 75% of your middle schoolers want a lock in every other weekend you're probably not going to do that.

Don't promise change, just use this time to listen.

Remember the individual

At the end of the day ministry is about 1 kid.  The whole reason we're doing the assessment is to make sure we're doing everything within our ability to reach, connect and deepen that 1 kid.  If you have 500 in your ministry it's still a ministry of individual hearts.  Are they connected?

As a fellow youthworker allow me to encourage you.

Stop, look and listen.

It's hard work to discover what you don't know but taking the time to listen and adjust will result in greater impact on the Kingdom for His glory.  It's worth it.

3 Things Your Volunteers Need From You - TODAY

Our ministries rise and fall based on how well our volunteer leaders are loving and serving students.  Ok, that may be a slight exaggeration seeing that Jesus is kind of a big deal, but you get the point.

Here's a little reality check, the greatest impact for students in your ministry will not come from the talk you gave last week or this week but from a loving adult leader who is pursuing Jesus and pastoring a small group of kids.  This isn't an excuse to get up tonight unprepared and bore students but it is a reminder that if we're not investing in adult leaders our ministries will never reach their greatest potential.

Here's the rub.  Very rarely are we praised by how well we're doing investing in adults, we're most likely judged based on the number of kids who show up to hear us speak.  Because this investment goes unrecognized our motivation to invest deeply in adults must come from a unwavering belief that Jesus can and will use these volunteers to shape the hearts of kids.  By the way, that's how Jesus impacted the world, by investing in 12 who invested in others.

You see, many times what you do for your adults behind the scenes isn't noticed, but it's those hidden habits that can yield the greatest ministry impact.

So as we think about our adult volunteers as the front line of ministry here are 3 things they need from you today.

1.  Prayer

Ok, not rocket science but much easier said than done.  Our hope and prayer is that adult leaders would have intimacy with Jesus and deep relationship with students.  This is supernatural stuff dependent on the transforming work of Jesus.  We need to ask Jesus to do this miraculous work in their lives.  If we're not praying for them that may be an indicator of where our hope truly is.

By the way, for us to pray specifically for our leaders we need to know what's going on in their lives.
When is the last time you reached out to a leader simply to ask them how you could pray for them?

Do your leaders feel served or used?  Praying for them is a tangible way for us to serve.

2.  Vision

By this time of the school year there has probably been attrition in a small group and students sometimes act like they don't care.  In fact I ran into a leader yesterday who was at the church to meet with her small group of girls.  Not one girl showed.

Remind leaders often why they do what they do.  I'm not talking about mission statements or values (although these have a place) but stories.  If you ever hear a story of how an adult is impacting students you have to share it.  If a parent or student tells you how awesome their leader is you have to pass that along.

Painting a picture of how kids are impacted as a result of their investment can go a long way.

3.  Gratitude

Nothing says "thank you" like a gift card to a good restaurant.  There are a thousand ways to say thanks.  Be creative.

Your leaders are most likely sacrificing an incredible amount of time and sometimes money to live life with students.  As the leader it's so important you recognize their sacrifice and show genuine appreciation.

Saying thank you is very good, but does your budget reflect your heart to serve and thank your leaders?  Move a little money from your pyrotechnics budget and use it to tell your leaders thanks.

Here's a confession.  Gravity pulls me towards investing time in areas I believe will bring me the greatest praise.  We need to change the score card.  If we invest daily in our adult leaders we many not get recognized but we will have the joy of watching our student ministry go much deeper and eventually wider.

God gets the glory and we get the joy.  Isn't that our greatest hope in ministry?

Home For The Holidays - College Ministry Idea

This is isn't your grandfather's family reunion.

For the third year in a row we had rowdy college students at our home for our "Home for the Holidays" gathering.  It's a simple way to gather with students and see them reconnect with friends and yes, it really feels like the family reunion you would WANT to attend.

We don't do much, build some fires get some food and let them connect.

Our high school seniors are also invited.  We want them to begin the transition to college and see that although they may go away to college they still have a church family in Dallas.

By the way, can I tell you how rewarding and humbling it is to see and hear what God is doing in the lives of student?  Also seeing them connect with former small group leaders is priceless.

So, consider your own version of "Home for the Holidays".  It could end up being your favorite time of the year.

Why You Cannot Miss YS Palooza

Next weekend is YSPalooza DFW.

YS Palooza - Dallas / Ft. Worth

Our student ministry staff is attending and we're strongly encouraging all our adult volunteers to join us. If you're a youth pastor or work with students in the DFW area you can not miss this opportunity.

Here's why...

It's Relatively Convenient

Let's face it, our volunteers are incredibly busy, but I can't imagine a better opportunity for our people to be exposed incredible voices sharing their heart about student ministry. It is a couple of days over a weekend but it will be worth the time. Our staff and volunteers will definately walk away knowing it was worth their time.

Reinforcing Voices

It's a huge win when the "experts" reinforce what's being said to volunteer leadership. When Kara, Jim and Doug present I can trust their message is in alignment with how we've been training and enccouraging our leaders for the last couple years. It will make us look a little smarter and trust me, we need all the help we can get.

It's Affordable

YS has priced the event in a way that makes it assessable to everyone. Equipping our adult leaders is a high value in our student ministry, therefore we're paying half their cost out of our budget. We honestly believe it will make that big of a difference in their lives and the life of our student ministry.

The Line Up Is Incredible

Just to name a few, Doug Fields, Jim Burns, Walt Mueller and Kara Powell are going to be speaking. It's unbelievable that our volunteers are going to get to hear the freshest most experienced voices in student ministry today right in their own back yard.

So, I'm excited about how God is going to use this ultimately in the lives of students in our area. As our leaders grow and develop so our ministry grows and develops. If you haven't thought about coming and bringing leaders with you it's not too late.

Be there.

By the way, if you're there please look me up. It would be fun to connect and I'll buy the coffee.

Accepting Students Where They Are

No 2 students are the same.

Chris shows up just because his girlfriend is there.

Jessica comes just because her parents make her.

Brandon is there just because he wants to study the Bible.

Lisa shows up just because she loves to sing worship music.

Jonathan comes just because he always has.

Peter is there just because he has fun.

Demarland is always around just because he has nowhere else to go.

Christy is there just because she has always felt loved there.

Encouraging students to move towards Jesus or deeper in Jesus is a value of every student ministry. Different students show up at different points in their spiritual journey. That can make it difficult to plan and program.

Maybe you have students who have never heard the clear gospel. There may be students who have been hurt by church and have a deeper cynicism towards faith. Or maybe there are students who are growing and are hungry for the Word. All of us have students who attend church just because their parents make them or they feel it's their religious obligation.

How do we "accept every student where they are and help them move closer to Jesus"?

Of course, the solution is always to connect students in relationship with Godly adults and students but with so much diversity how do we make sure students have the greatest opportunities to move forward in their faith?

Here are 5 thoughts...

Provide Diverse Gathering Opportunities

No 2 pieces of programming should look the same. Most committed students will only give 2 to 3 time slots to your ministry a week. Make sure those gatherings have specific purpose and goals in mind. In other words, avoid having the same programming 2 different times a week.

Know Your Target Audience

Do you have space in your programming for students who have the time and desire to invest in their spiritual life? Do you have a gathering that is designed to engage the friends of your students? Sure, all that we do can impact most of our students, but having a focus will insure we are being sensitive to the issue of spiritual diversity.

Offer Different Size Gatherings

For some students a large group gathering is where they are comfortable "kicking the tires" and testing the waters of church. For others it may be a relaxed small group gathering that allows time to have honest safe discussion about God and faith. Thinking through "large, mid sized, or small" gatherings will insure more students get and stay connected.

Create A Diverse Adult Leadership Team

Some adult leaders are naturally drawn towards the unchurched, others want to take students deep in Bible study. Some adult leaders are athletic while others may love music or technology. Know the hearts of your leaders and place them appropriately. This should also be on your mind when thinking through who to recruit for next fall.

Make "Acceptance" A Core Value

In our church setting we feel the need to serve all our students and their friends. Our desire is to see each student through the eyes of compassion and accept them where they are. This sometimes gets messy but we believe it's the way Jesus sees us. To be honest, sometimes it's easier to love the student far from God than the one who grew up in church, however we're called to accept each of them where they are and point them to Jesus.

May we serve in ministries that recognize the diversity and value of each student. Let's plan and pray that our ministries reflect this desire.

Adult Volunteer Christmas Party

We can never say "thank you" enough.

Our student ministry rises and falls on the service of our adult leaders. We continually pray that God will raise up Godly leaders who will serve life on life with students. If you're a relationally driven ministry you do the same thing.

Our adults are busy. It's a delicate balance to get time with them and serve them well. How do you train and serve them personally without requiring too much time in addition to their investment with students?

Sometimes we do it well, sometimes we don't.

Over the last few years we've found that a Thursday night Christmas party is one of the best ways to honor them and say "thank you".

Last year we went a little radical by taking everyone to a karaoke restaurant. It was epic and someday we'll do it again.

This year was a little more "traditional". We invited our leaders and their "significant others" to a catered dinner at a nice home. Our time was heavy on relationship and very light on programming. Sometimes it's just good to be together.

Here are some of the details...

• We provided every leader with a small gift that was nicely wrapped...
• There was a professional photographer to take pictures of individuals and couples...
• We presented a short video of our students saying "thank you" to leaders...
• I spent a few minutes sharing a story about how life on life investment makes a difference...
• We recognized leaders who have served 3 years or longer...
• We had great food and beverage...
• "Thank you" was said over and over again...

There was only about 10 - 15 minutes of programming. Most of our time was spent chatting, playing ping pong or doing karaoke (we have some performers).

Our hope and prayer is that our leaders walked away encouraged, inspired and appreciated. When we tell them our ministry doesn't exist without them we really mean it.

I want to continually pray and dream of ways to serve them well. Here's a questions we all must wrestle with.

Do our volunteer leaders feel served by us or do the feel used by us?

So, put your money where your mouth is. If you're a life on life ministry do a quick assessment to see where your time and money is going. If there isn't consistent time and money spent on encouraging and training your leaders think about where you can adjust a little to invest deeply in them.

Reminders from "Friday Night Lights"

About a month ago I got hooked on the TV series "Friday Night Lights". I know I'm a little late to the party but...

With good acting and great writing it's well worth your time, especially if you're interested or involved in high school culture. And oh yes, I live in Texas where high school football and mums are king. (show is set in a small west Texas town)

I'm in season 2 and being reminded of many issues. Friday Night Lights isn't a "Christian" show and there are themes that should concern those of us who care about students. It does a descent job depicting the highs and lows of high school culture. The series explores deep issues on parenting, marriage, friendships and integrity. It also gives great reminders for those of us who care about high school students.

Here are a couple that have struck me.

1. There is always more going on underneath the surface.

When a student "acts out" and displays bad behavior they're probably doing what makes sense.

Matt Seracen is the senior QB 1 of the Dillon Panthers and a very responsible kid. Out of the blue he begins to drink heavily and become irresponsible. In an effort to "sober" him up and get his attention Coach Taylor gets in his face and chews him a new rear end.

As Matt breaks, it becomes obvious there is a lot going on underneath the surface. Matt's dad is in Iraq and has left Matt with the responsibility of his grandmother struggling with dementia. At least 4 people important in his life have left him. The scene ends in a climax of Matt saying,

"everybody leaves me, what's wrong with me"?

If I were 17 and dealing with the pressure Matt was dealing with I'd probably act out the same way and worse. It makes sense that he is angry, hurt and stressed. Why wouldn't he want to medicate that kind of pain?

When dealing with struggling students we must always be willing to take the time and energy to "drill down" and find out what's going on. When confronting students let's do it with a heart of compassion and a desire to understand issues of the heart driving behavior or attitude. Then and only then can we apply the truth and love of the gospel to the heart.

Are you relating to a student right now that is difficult to deal with? Look beneath the surface.

2. Sometimes you have to pursue the individual

I'm very impressed and challenged by the Dillon Panthers head coach Eric Taylor. Sure he's rough around the edges but he often takes time from his ridiculous schedule to support and help his players.

Brian "Smash" Williams was a highly recruited star tailback. After injuring his knee in the playoffs it seemed his football career and chance to go to college was over. Coach Taylor met with Smash one on one to help him get in shape. He called college coaches and finally got Smash a try out at Texas Tech. He went way above the call of duty. He cared.



I love one scene in particular when Coach Taylor drives to Smash's house late at night to tell him he got the tryout. Sometimes a phone call or facebook message isn't sufficient. Presence is important.

What amazes me is his interest in the individual and the desire to sacrifice time and energy to be there.

Student ministry is a ministry of presence. No, he's not a youth pastor but Coach Taylor understands the power of relating one on one with high school students. He is able to see potential they can't see and cast vision for what they can become.

I want to be more like that.

By the way, it seems the only way we can see what's happening beneath the surface is to pursue the individual. It's very difficult to know what's going on in a students life if we're not taking the time time to invest.

So for all of us who lead some kind of student ministry, is our focus and attention on getting as many students as possible in one place at one time? OR do we work, plan and pray in such a way that gives loving adults an opportunity to invest life on life? Depth and life change happens more often from across a table than from a stage.

Something to think about

End of school year email to adult leaders...

Lifegroup and 10:24 is over for the school year. What to do?

It’s a very common question. The most important point to remember is that relationship is not a program. Sure, we provide space for you to build relationships with students but just because the scheduled gathering has ended doesn’t mean your relationships end.

Some thoughts...

If you didn’t have a celebration last night you might want to go out for ice cream or something after this Sunday’s student led event. Talk about what God has done over the year.

Go to camp.

Show up on a Sunday night at least once a month over the summer. We don’t have life groups but your students are still around and would love to connect with you. (you’re welcome any time btw)

Go to camp.

Attend one of the special Wednesday night events.

Live on facebook. Yes it’s one of the easiest way to connect.

Go to camp.

Plan a summer outing with your group.

It’s been a phenomenal year of relational ministry. You have prayed, connected and invested in students this school year. It’s evident that God is continuing to do a unique work through our student ministry here at IBC. Thank you so much for your investment.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

David

Push, Pull, Tug, Tow - YSPalooza

yspalooza

Our student ministry is committed to encouraging and equipping Godly adults to rub shoulders with students. Because of this philosophy there is nothing more important to us than our staff serving and encouraging adult leaders.

Now saying that, we often have mission drift. Mission drift is when you know what is most important but you spend time, money and energy focusing on something else. This often happens often when ministry is judged by numbers and how happy parents are with their kids going to Sunday School.

Sure, we do other important activities in our ministry but our "special sauce" is relationship. Although we often find ourselves "drifting" a little we always return to our calling to unleash a team of adult leaders to serve students.

Encouraging our adults to attend YSpalooza is a no brainer for us. There's no way we could get them to a full NYWC or other national retreat but having them exposed to other youth leaders will be a shot in the arm to our ministry. They're going to experience phenomenal encouragement and training from some of the best student ministry voices in the country. And what could be more inspirational than worshipping with other like hearted youth leaders in the same room?

I can't wait to debrief with them about what they hear and experience. With all of us engaging in the same training it will give our entire team a common language to think about how we better engage the hearts of our students.

So, if your within 219 miles of Dallas I hope to see you and your team there. My hope is that this short weekend will strengthen youth ministry all over our region.